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51 posters
Humour
We Are You- Posts : 1550
Join date : 2011-09-19
Location : Here
Brook- Posts : 3469
Join date : 2010-08-21
Age : 70
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31784
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
Obviously she didn't attend the 5th grade level that we have here in Hawaii. They had triple the homework then the kids in high school. Some one was just two, too dumb to realize how stupid that sign is.
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31784
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
orthodoxymoron wrote:It might not be funny -- but it might qualify as Dark Humour. Perhaps I should start such a thread. No, wait -- my Solar System Governance thread contains a lot of Dark Humour. I have attempted to make deep and troubling subjects somewhat funny and sexy -- for better or worse. Here's something which might properly qualify as Funny. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPXQ3qkfxnA Or - better yet - how 'bout a Sexy Cyborg from Another Dimension (or a Moon-Babe)?! 1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-z54EP0EhM 2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4zbBEifkrU What Would the Queen of Heaven Say??
Dark humor isn't funny or sexy to me Oxy. One has to have the mind-set for that type of thing. I'm more into subtle double entendre, wholesome, ironic, goofy type of humor. Even the sexy cyborn from another dimension leaves me cold. Do I have to be a guy to appreciate such humor?
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
orthodoxymoron- Posts : 13413
Join date : 2010-09-28
Location : The Matrix
Should one always deal with dark and troubling subjects without humour?? What are the proper guidelines which guide us regarding which lines can and cannot be crossed?? Perhaps I should study the Ethics of Humour. I'm being quite serious at this point. I came to this thread today, to post something I thought was somewhat funny -- but I'm not going to post it now -- in light of what you said regarding Dark Humour. Should surgeons not joke in the operating-room to ease the tension?? Again, I'm really quite serious regarding the Ethics of Humour. This might be an extremely important subject. Often, in cartoons, movies, and television-programs we are made to laugh when people get hurt or killed -- or when something bad happens to them. Think of the Road Runner cartoons. I hint at a lot of things, simply because I can't deal with them directly for any length of time. I rarely laugh in public. I'm way too serious -- probably because I think about serious things most of the time. Going to a Happy-Clappy Church for four years failed to cure my chronic-seriousness. Often, when I attempt to be funny, no one laughs. Perhaps I should take the hints seriously.Carol wrote:orthodoxymoron wrote:It might not be funny -- but it might qualify as Dark Humour. Perhaps I should start such a thread. No, wait -- my Solar System Governance thread contains a lot of Dark Humour. I have attempted to make deep and troubling subjects somewhat funny and sexy -- for better or worse. Here's something which might properly qualify as Funny. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPXQ3qkfxnA Or - better yet - how 'bout a Sexy Cyborg from Another Dimension (or a Moon-Babe)?! 1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-z54EP0EhM 2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4zbBEifkrU What Would the Queen of Heaven Say??
Dark humor isn't funny or sexy to me Oxy. One has to have the mind-set for that type of thing. I'm more into subtle double entendre, wholesome, ironic, goofy type of humor. Even the sexy cyborn from another dimension leaves me cold. Do I have to be a guy to appreciate such humor?
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31784
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
Oxy, my mother was cracking jokes on her deathbed. Humor breaks the tension of stressful situations and helps people deal with overwhelming difficulties. Dark humor - the type you're sharing isn't something I find amusing.
This is all I'm saying. I'm not amused.
This is all I'm saying. I'm not amused.
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
We Are You- Posts : 1550
Join date : 2011-09-19
Location : Here
Carol wrote:my mother was cracking jokes on her
(...)
WE ARE ALL EARS
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31784
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
Hah! A visitor came in and asked her how long she thought she would be in the hospital. She said about two weeks and then she'd be moving to the cemetery.
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31784
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
orthodoxymoron- Posts : 13413
Join date : 2010-09-28
Location : The Matrix
Carol, you've really got me thinking about humour -- dark and otherwise. Perhaps some humour isn't intended to be funny. Perhaps the intention is to make a point. As I keep repeating -- I don't feel comfortable with a lot of what I post. I have intended to create a Posting-Potpourri to represent many points of view. I guess I thought what I just posted was more clever than funny. But really, I am quickly extricating myself from my Contrarian-Confrontive Online Fictional-Character which does not represent who I really am. This has been sort of an experiment -- which I often wish I had never started. Some things are best left alone. The world-leaders who are leading us to hell always seem to mind their manners -- and in a world where appearances are everything -- this seems to work quite nicely. Perhaps I should go and do likewise...Carol wrote:Oxy, my mother was cracking jokes on her deathbed. Humor breaks the tension of stressful situations and helps people deal with overwhelming difficulties. Dark humor - the type you're sharing isn't something I find amusing.
This is all I'm saying. I'm not amused.
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31784
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
orthodoxymoron wrote:Carol, you've really got me thinking about humour -- . Perhaps I should go and do likewise...Carol wrote:Oxy, my mother was cracking jokes on her deathbed. Humor breaks the tension of stressful situations and helps people deal with overwhelming difficulties. Dark humor - the type you're sharing isn't something I find amusing.
This is all I'm saying. I'm not amused.
Sounds like a good plan Oxy.
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
orthodoxymoron- Posts : 13413
Join date : 2010-09-28
Location : The Matrix
Some things are so sad (that they're actually funny). Soren Kierkegaard went to church -- looked around -- and was surprised that no one was laughing. I wonder why?! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S%C3%B8ren_KierkegaardCarol wrote:orthodoxymoron wrote:Carol, you've really got me thinking about humour -- . Perhaps I should go and do likewise...Carol wrote:Oxy, my mother was cracking jokes on her deathbed. Humor breaks the tension of stressful situations and helps people deal with overwhelming difficulties. Dark humor - the type you're sharing isn't something I find amusing.
This is all I'm saying. I'm not amused.
Sounds like a good plan Oxy.
orthodoxymoron wrote:I realize this probably isn't funny or appropriate BUT imagine that infamous "Devil-Baby" piloting a "Killer-Asteroid" toward Earth!!!
Last edited by orthodoxymoron on Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:26 pm; edited 1 time in total
Brook- Posts : 3469
Join date : 2010-08-21
Age : 70
We Are You- Posts : 1550
Join date : 2011-09-19
Location : Here
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31784
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.
Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.
Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.
War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.
Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Finally CONFUCIUS DID SAY. . ...
"A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!"
Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.
Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.
Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.
War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.
Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Finally CONFUCIUS DID SAY. . ...
"A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!"
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31784
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS)
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
8. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
9. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
10. A calendar's days are numbered.
11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
15. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
18. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
20. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
21. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
23. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
25. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
27 Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
8. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
9. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
10. A calendar's days are numbered.
11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
15. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
18. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
20. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
21. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
23. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
25. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
27 Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31784
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
Senior Wedding
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Austin , are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
"Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course, we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about suppositories?"
Pharmacist: "You bet!"
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimer's?"
Pharmacist: Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"
Pharmacist: "We sure do."
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jacob: "Adult diapers?"
Pharmacist: "Sure."
Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Austin , are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
"Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course, we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about suppositories?"
Pharmacist: "You bet!"
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimer's?"
Pharmacist: Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"
Pharmacist: "We sure do."
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jacob: "Adult diapers?"
Pharmacist: "Sure."
Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31784
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
One Tough Harley Guy
On January 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-80 when they saw a girl about to jump off a Bridge.
So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to commit suicide."
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.
After they finished, George gets approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
On January 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-80 when they saw a girl about to jump off a Bridge.
So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to commit suicide."
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.
After they finished, George gets approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
Last edited by Carol on Fri Mar 22, 2013 12:23 am; edited 1 time in total
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
Mercuriel- Admin
- Posts : 3497
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Walking the Path...
↑
_________________
Namaste...
Peace, Light, Love, Harmony and Unity...
We Are You- Posts : 1550
Join date : 2011-09-19
Location : Here
THEeXchanger- Posts : 5352
Join date : 2011-06-04
Location : My own little heaven on earth
some of my neighbours
We Are You- Posts : 1550
Join date : 2011-09-19
Location : Here
THEeXchanger- Posts : 5352
Join date : 2011-06-04
Location : My own little heaven on earth
We Are You- Posts : 1550
Join date : 2011-09-19
Location : Here
