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51 posters

    Humour

    Brook
    Brook


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    Humour - Page 40 Empty Re: Humour

    Post  Brook Sun Mar 30, 2014 12:55 pm

    Bovine Cardio Workout





    Cows with Guns

    mudra
    mudra


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    Post  mudra Mon Mar 31, 2014 6:21 am

    Humour - Page 40 1620426_10151998295087713_1806931181_n

    Love Always
    mudra
    Micjer
    Micjer


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    Post  Micjer Wed Apr 02, 2014 12:30 pm

    mudra
    mudra


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    Post  mudra Wed Apr 02, 2014 12:56 pm

    Humour - Page 40 10174867_800776106617896_43414104_ns

    Love Always
    mudra
    mudra
    mudra


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    Post  mudra Thu Apr 03, 2014 2:25 pm

    The Difference Between Men And Women.

    Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

    And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

    And then, there is silence in the car.

    To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

    And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

    And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

    And Fred is thinking: ...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

    And Martha is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

    And Fred is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

    And Martha is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

    And Fred is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumballs.

    And Martha is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

    And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

    "Fred," Martha says aloud.

    "What?" says Fred, startled.

    "Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have...oh dear, I feel so..."(She breaks down, sobbing.)

    "What?" says Fred.

    "I'm such a fool," Martha sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

    "There's no horse?" says Fred.

    "You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Martha says.

    "No!" says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer.

    "It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Martha says.

    (There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

    "Yes," he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

    "Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?" she says.

    "What way?" says Fred.

    "That way about time," says Martha.

    "Oh," says Fred. "Yes." (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

    "Thank you, Fred," she says.

    "Thank you," says Fred.

    Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

    The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.

    They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

    Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?"

    And that's the difference between men and women.

     lol! 

    Love Always
    mudra
    mudra
    mudra


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    Post  mudra Sat Apr 05, 2014 5:09 am

    Humour - Page 40 10168032_611261052299672_8739653529904033154_n

    Love Always
    mudra
    mudra
    mudra


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    Post  mudra Sat Apr 12, 2014 12:12 pm

    Humour - Page 40 1524935_577966245612388_1703752846_n

    Agreed Brook ?

    Love Always
    mudra
    Brook
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    Post  Brook Sat Apr 12, 2014 12:42 pm

    mudra wrote:Humour - Page 40 1524935_577966245612388_1703752846_n

    Agreed Brook ?

    Love Always
    mudra

    That's right!  LOL   lol!
    mudra
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    Post  mudra Mon Apr 14, 2014 11:02 am

    Humour - Page 40 1511093_431006790335291_5590944187637620264_n

    Love Always
    mudra
    mudra
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    Post  mudra Thu Apr 17, 2014 11:20 am

    Kafshet jane te mrekullueshme!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVACCAa5gDQ


     Thubs Up 
    Love Always
    mudra
    Sanicle
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    Post  Sanicle Thu Apr 17, 2014 12:16 pm

    Haha.......AWESOME Mudra. Thank you.  I love you 
    Carol
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    Post  Carol Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:06 pm


    A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer, than the men who mention it.


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
    mudra
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    Post  mudra Fri Apr 18, 2014 2:54 pm

    Humour - Page 40 1622740_737510152926101_803326357_n

    Love Always
    mudra
    Brook
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    Post  Brook Sat Apr 26, 2014 3:54 pm

    Brook
    Brook


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    Post  Brook Sat Apr 26, 2014 4:10 pm

    Punk the dog   Naughty 

    Brook
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    Post  Brook Sun Apr 27, 2014 7:48 am

    Man sees his wife for the first time again.



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