HIDEOUS SUN DEMON 1959
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqLoxDQgptY
THEM!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2PLls02gOU
+47
magamud
Aquaries1111
Chimpsky
THEeXchanger
shiloh
Owlsden
Micjer
We Are You
Sanicle
lindabaker
Troy Are Us
Threecaster
Reunite
orthodoxymoron
Beren
reality=check
earthian
immortalisdolor
HigherLove
malletzky
icecold
enemyofNWO
giovonni
burgundia
Brook
Vidya Moksha
starninja
newel
GODDESS OF PURPLE LIGHT
JesterTerrestrial
eMonkey
spiritwarrior
biophiliac
TRANCOSO
truth and integrity
ClearWater
Oliver
CetaceousOne
Nebula
Carol
devakas
Floyd
SiriArc
mp3
mudra
Spregovori
Mercuriel
51 posters
Humour
magamud- Posts : 1280
Join date : 2012-06-17
HIDEOUS SUN DEMON 1959
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqLoxDQgptY
THEM!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2PLls02gOU
burgundia- Posts : 5520
Join date : 2010-04-09
Location : Poland
burgundia- Posts : 5520
Join date : 2010-04-09
Location : Poland
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31721
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
Good one burgundia!
EIGHT THOUGHTS TO PONDER
Number 8
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 7
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 6
Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horny. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
Number 5
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years
Number 4
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 3
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your behind tomorrow.
- - - and as someone recently said to me:
"Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long."
EIGHT THOUGHTS TO PONDER
Number 8
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 7
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 6
Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horny. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
Number 5
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years
Number 4
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 3
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your behind tomorrow.
- - - and as someone recently said to me:
"Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long."
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
orthodoxymoron- Posts : 13410
Join date : 2010-09-28
Location : The Matrix
I wonder if they smoke pot inside those piloted asteroids??? Do Dracs and Greys smoke pot??? Do the elites smoke pot on the Darkside of the Moon??? Sorry. I had to ask. I get the sinking-feeling that very few individuals (human and otherwise) appreciate my strange sense of humor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdR5TOhHJGM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUzMPlQb2G4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2OCm7vRSRg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54xWo7ITFbg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oVBvxA0mm0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4mhtVAEUcA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e65-wLp1yyI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUzMPlQb2G4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2OCm7vRSRg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54xWo7ITFbg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oVBvxA0mm0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4mhtVAEUcA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e65-wLp1yyI
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31721
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees!'
'What powerful rivers!'
'What beautiful animals!'
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.
Instantly, the Atheist cried out:
'Oh my God!'
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'
'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?' 'Am I to count you as a believer?'
The atheist looked directly into the light, and said: 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?'
'Very well', said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.
'What majestic trees!'
'What powerful rivers!'
'What beautiful animals!'
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.
Instantly, the Atheist cried out:
'Oh my God!'
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'
'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?' 'Am I to count you as a believer?'
The atheist looked directly into the light, and said: 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?'
'Very well', said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
Brook- Posts : 3469
Join date : 2010-08-21
Age : 70
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31721
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
THE SCOTTISH SINNER
Repent and sin no more !
There was a Scottish painter named Gordon Macgregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.
As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings.
Gordon put in a bid, and, because his price was so low, he got the job.
So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with water...
Well, Gordon was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Hamish clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.
Gordon was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from thee Almighty,
so he got down on his knees and
cried:
"Oh, God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?"
And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke..
(you're going to love this)
"Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"
Repent and sin no more !
There was a Scottish painter named Gordon Macgregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.
As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings.
Gordon put in a bid, and, because his price was so low, he got the job.
So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with water...
Well, Gordon was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Hamish clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.
Gordon was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from thee Almighty,
so he got down on his knees and
cried:
"Oh, God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?"
And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke..
(you're going to love this)
"Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31721
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
Old age ain't for wimps...but it beats dying young.
HELL TO GET OLD...
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man
Walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.
One student said to his friend:
"I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome.
Those people walk just like that."
The other student says:
"No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome.
He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."
Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him
And one of the students said to him,
"We're medical students and couldn't help
But notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have.
Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said,
"I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."
The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"
The old man said,
"I thought it was GAS - but I was wrong, too!"
HELL TO GET OLD...
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man
Walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.
One student said to his friend:
"I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome.
Those people walk just like that."
The other student says:
"No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome.
He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."
Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him
And one of the students said to him,
"We're medical students and couldn't help
But notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have.
Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said,
"I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."
The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"
The old man said,
"I thought it was GAS - but I was wrong, too!"
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
Brook- Posts : 3469
Join date : 2010-08-21
Age : 70
Brook- Posts : 3469
Join date : 2010-08-21
Age : 70
We Are You- Posts : 1550
Join date : 2011-09-19
Location : Here
- Attachments
75577_352092804899397_1443263310_n.jpg - You don't have permission to download attachments.
- (39 Kb) Downloaded 2 times
We Are You- Posts : 1550
Join date : 2011-09-19
Location : Here
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31721
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. Remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing, and cares less, tries to make your life miserable.
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who
responded:
"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser." That's a terrible airline.
Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over near Rome's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.
Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on one of Continental's brand new airplanes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private reception room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"
He said: "Who Xxxxxx up your hair?"
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who
responded:
"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser." That's a terrible airline.
Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over near Rome's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.
Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on one of Continental's brand new airplanes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private reception room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"
He said: "Who Xxxxxx up your hair?"
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31721
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31721
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
Beren- Posts : 547
Join date : 2010-09-07
Location : Belgrade, Serbia
Two beavers are sitting idly and relaxing at the river bank. All of a sudden a river flooded with yesterdays rain`s remains and carried a lot of cracked wood and remains of houses.
Then the one of the beavers suggest:"Wanna some quick bite mate?"
"Sure"-replies the other...
So they grab a leftover of a house parquet ...
...after some chewing the first beaver mumble ...:"God damn fast food..."
Then the one of the beavers suggest:"Wanna some quick bite mate?"
"Sure"-replies the other...
So they grab a leftover of a house parquet ...
...after some chewing the first beaver mumble ...:"God damn fast food..."
orthodoxymoron- Posts : 13410
Join date : 2010-09-28
Location : The Matrix
Deleted by orthodoxymoron -- with apologies to anyone who was offended. Lesson Learned.
Last edited by orthodoxymoron on Tue Mar 19, 2013 4:29 pm; edited 1 time in total
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31721
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
The devil baby isn't funny oxy. 
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
orthodoxymoron- Posts : 13410
Join date : 2010-09-28
Location : The Matrix
It might not be funny -- but it might qualify as Dark Humour. Perhaps I should start such a thread. No, wait -- my Solar System Governance thread contains a lot of Dark Humour. I have attempted to make deep and troubling subjects somewhat funny and sexy -- for better or worse. Here's something which might properly qualify as Funny. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPXQ3qkfxnA Or - better yet - how 'bout a Sexy Cyborg from Another Dimension (or a Moon-Babe)?! 1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-z54EP0EhM 2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4zbBEifkrU What Would the Queen of Heaven Say??