Doctor Who Blue Boy = Matrix Emissary Warden = Prince of Sirius = Rich Young Ruler?
Thank-you, Carol. I know I don't know, and it's getting worse as I go downhill physically, mentally, and spiritually. I get idealism and I get pragmatism. I've had mountain-top Christ-Consciousness experiences, but I've always had the nagging realization that things are both good and bad in an often violent and contradictory world of horror and insanity. My threads often make me look like a crazy bad guy who should be scorned and shunned. Facing Reality is SO Overrated. Perhaps Christ-Consciousness should be divorced from the Holy-Bible as sort of a New-Age Jesus. I am conflicted regarding the following simplified New Testament 'Groups', namely 1. Luke. 2. John. 3. Acts. 4. Romans to Jude. 5. Revelation. There is an odd compartmentalization. I've wondered about The Quest of the Historical Jesus in Acts to Revelation. I understand Cover-Stories and Historical-Fiction relative to Absolute Truth and History. Earth seems to be Purgatory Incorporated (for better or worse, I know not). I don't think Heaven, Purgatory, and Hell are necessarily what people believe them to be. Strict definitions are instructive. I get the idealism of the major posters in this forum, yet most of the posts are ultimately negative and even horrific at times. I enjoyed what seemed to be the insider-revelations of Sherry Shriner, but I saw red-flags everywhere in all of her shows. I have my theories regarding all the above.Carol wrote:45 years ago I had a personal encounter with Jesus (Christ). There are no words to describe this experience other than to say one can be a believer or not. One can know from direct experience or not. To know from direct experience eliminates any and all doubt to what it is to directly experience Christ Consciousness. Compassion, forgiveness / complete acceptance, love. To live in Christ Consciousness is to live a life of self-less service in helping others. Being self-centered just means one has yet to personally experience "Christ Consciousness".
From early childhood, I knew we were in trouble, and I tried to be idealistic. I tried to not know the gory details. Even then, things went downhill at a frightening pace. After 9/11 (and especially with internet participation) things became almost unbearable. It's much worse now. I'm semi-retired and semi-vegetative (following my stroke, or whatever it really was). I probably need to write some sort of a book to help make ends meet, but actual publication scares the hell out of me. Plus, my threads are probably much more revealing and explanatory than any book could possibly be, yet the interest is nearly non-existent. I've joked about having my tripe analyzed by Dr. Michael Salla, Dr. Andrew G. Hodges, and Brigadier General, Dr. Loree Sutton, in cooperation with Alex Collier, Paola Harris, and our very-own Carol, probably reminiscent of Jesus, An Interview Across Time: A Psychiatrist Looks at HIS Humanity. The title might be Orthodoxymoron: An Interview Across Time: A Psychiatrist Looks at His Insanity. I realize this sounds insane, but it seems to go with the territory. Ultimately, this might be a no-win situation for all-concerned. No one would understand. Anyway, I digress.
Somewhat unrelatedly, what if there is no center to hold?? What if the souls in all solar systems will be at sea for all eternity?? What if attempted centers will rise and fall as fickle tides beat upon the rocks of infidelity?? I don't know if I got that right, but it sounded cool. What if the spirit of the age is illusive and deceptive?? What if the Borg Queen is the Matrix Mediatrix?? What if 87% of us will go completely insane in the near future?? What if this thing is worse than we can imagine?? I might need to wind my life down as I analyze the territory I've already covered (in and out of this website). I wish I could somehow collaborate with Drs. Salla, Hodges, Sutton, and others, in Orthodoxymoron: An Interview Across Time: A Psychiatrist Looks at His Insanity. This might be reminiscent of Agent Salt interviewing the Russian Spy in the movie SALT. Actually, consider a hypothetical interview with the Angel Gabriel and Emissary Warden David in the movie Constantine. Did ANYONE catch the intricacies of that library scene with Gabriel arguing with John?? What is the REAL Story of that Catholic Priest as Emissary Warden David?? What Would David Bowman Say?? What Would HAL 9000 Say??
Take this with a Sea of Salt. Sherry Shriner spoke of a large number of VIP's visiting India around 2008, allegedly attending a humiliation ceremony in a cave, supposedly involving Obama naked on a cross. Her words, not mine. I doubt the story, and I had mostly forgotten about it, but later, she recounted a short version of that story, seemingly saying 'Indio' instead of 'India' starting at 10:45 of The Missing Link This was Sherry's last show before she supposedly died. There's another 'Indio' angle (with a familiar sounding voice, calling from Indio into an Art Bell interview with Blanche Barton at 02:07:20) which might be relevant. The Missing Link Today, I watched the sixth video (below) which made me think of the aforementioned story. This is probably an impossible long shot. Perhaps unrelatedly, a well-known SDA pastor (with insider parents) tells of living naked in a cave (pre-conversion) near Palm Springs. Consider 'Merlin's Cave' relative to 'The Dark Side of Camelot'. Consider Satanism and the Inland Empire. There's also a story of Obama being sort of 'out of it' prior to entering a room where Latin chanting was heard and emerging a completely different person with renewed vitality (but I can't recall the source). I might delete this post. We're running out of time to get this right but hope springs eternal.
I believe I've been highly tampered with and compromised, as if this were some sort of a test and/or power struggle (possibly of a cosmic and/or galactic nature). I could explain, but I'd rather not. As I continue to go downhill, there might not be much left of my body, mind, and soul. This whole thing might be worse than we can imagine. I receive flashes of insight (especially while I'm researching and posting on the internet) but this isn't exactly a marketable job skill. I've said too much, and as always, I regret being open and honest (when everything I say and do or don't say and do) can (and will) be used against me in the Supercomputer-Matrix Investigative-Judgment with the Borg Queen aka Matrix Mediatrix presiding. Don't Take This Too Siriusly or Literally. What Would Gabriel Say and Do??
My 'trust' level is close to zero. I especially do NOT trust myself. "The Heart of Man is Desperately Wicked! Who Can Know It?" This thing can be spun in just about any manner and direction. My threads are mostly contextual rather than conclusive. Regarding the above book concept, it would probably be a bad idea which would erupt into a fiasco for all concerned and unconcerned. Still, I find the general idea intriguing. This might involve a closed-door version of this. The real PTB might be more untouchable than we can imagine. This whole thing seems ancient and nasty (overtly and covertly). Somewhat unrelatedly, I am also intrigued by the posthumous 1917 EGW book Prophets and Kings, the 1928 Book of Common Prayer, and the 1940 Episcopal Hymnal. You might need to analyze this for a few years. I try not to jump to conclusions, but I often do not succeed. Don't follow me. I'm lost too. Perhaps yet another version of 'V' would be interesting regarding all the above. I need to check myself before I wreck myself. Actually, I'm already a wreck. I feel as if I'm being increasingly poisoned and supernaturally harassed, perhaps with a high-tech twist as I twist slowly, slowly in the wind. Stop my friend as you pass by. As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, you will surely be. So, prepare yourself to follow me. I might not have gotten that quite right, but you hopefully get the point. What Would Oblio Say??
Serious students should read Job through Jude in the KJV (straight through, over and over) before moving on to other material (including the rest of the Holy Bible) as a mental and spiritual exercise, regardless of how much of it is true (or is not true). Most people (including the scholars) do not have the patience to do what I just suggested. I am having a difficult time doing it myself. I am having a difficult time doing much of anything. I often wish I had finished college, attended the Claremont School of Theology for graduate Jesus Studies and then joined the Center for Christian Bioethics at the Loma Linda University School of Religion (at some point in my career). I also regret not continuing singing in the Crystal Cathedral Choir while continuing organ lessons with Kimo Smith ("KS Bach"). It is too late now. I just wanted to get away from everything but then I discovered that most everything was BS and I never recovered. It does not pay to be hyper moralistic and strictly honest. It just does not pay. Dr. Louis Venden told me "people who are too definite go off" (with a wave of his arm) and he was certainly correct. The heavens fall when one stands for the right. The truth is SO overrated.
I include a lot of SDA stuff, but I am not trying to convert anyone to anything. I simply wish for all of you to engage in some sort of a personal interdisciplinary research project. I am not attempting to tell anyone what to do. There is a time and place for everything, and I am in no position to speak with any authority on anything regardless of who I might've (or might not have) been in any previous incarnations (if there is some validity to the concept of reincarnation). You folks should consider the spectrum of SDA scholars over the past 100 years. The Jesuits know what I am talking about. Imagine arguing the theology of Dr. Graham Maxwell with the Jesuits on Mt. Graham! "What Shall We Talk About, Thou Cursed Judas?!" As a child, I lived close to the widow of M.L. Andreasen and I rode on the school bus with his granddaughter. Once, when Mrs. Andreasen was sick in bed I knelt beside the bed and prayed for her and she got well! I do not know the details but that is the story (and I am sticking to it). I am planning to read three of M.L. Andreasen's books. Should be interesting.
Graham Maxwell and Ted Heppenstal differed with Herbert Douglass. Graham Maxwell, Paul Heubach, Jack Provonsha, Herbert Douglass and Dalton Baldwin opposed Desmond Ford and Ted Heppenstal. Desmond Ford was critical of Loma Linda University theology. Herbert Douglass emphasized the harvest principle. They disapproved of forensic theories of the atonement. Graham Maxwell was most opposed to it. They all believed the denomination overreacted to M.L. Andreasen. They were not Evangelicals as commonly understood. Jack Provonsha studied with Paul Tillich at Harvard. Graham Maxwell studied with Charles Hartshorne at the University of Chicago. Herbert Douglass wrote his dissertation on Brunner at Berkeley. I would rather consider Harry Anderson, Uncle Arthur S. Maxwell, and Dr. H.M.S. Richards, Sr. Unfortunately, the world, solar system, and universe are not that nice and simple. I used to read Uncle Arthur's Bedtime Stories. Now I read Bill Cooper's Bedtime Stories. I spent a lot of time listening to most of the people mentioned (including Dr. David Larson). I even had an interesting conversation with (who I think was) David's father (Ralph Larson). I appreciated Ralph's conservative views and David's moderate views, but I am in no one's camp which is why I live a very lonely and unhappy life.
I once attended a lecture by Dr. Leonard Bailey where he showed images of the Baby Fae surgery. I attended a lot of lectures and public meetings intended mostly for doctors. Once again, I have been a nobody who has watched a lot of somebodies, without any of it rubbing off. One Saturday night, I scrubbed up, and watched Dr. Robert L. Marsh do an emergency appendectomy. It was sort of cool. I still think that prevention should be the foundation of healthcare. Has it ever been the foundation? Will it ever be the foundation? Follow the money and do the math. I publicly questioned the United States Assistant Secretary of Health Robert E. Windom, MD about the percentage of total healthcare expenditures specifically used for prevention. Dr. Windom did not know, and the moderator said it was "a complicated question". Now that I understand more about how things really work in this world, I understand (clearly and painfully) why that was a "complicated question". Are we headed toward a Corporate High-Technology Luciferian Theocracy? I have attempted to combine science, politics, religion, and science fiction (for better or worse, I know not). Some of you might find This Present Quest interesting and enlightening, but I am not pushing any of this. I am just trying to help all of us think.
My perception is that my threads have zero traction. They are tolerated but certainly not embraced. My threads probably would not exist if they weren't in their present context. My contrarian approach makes them necessary yet rejected. If they were presented elsewhere, they would be misunderstood and rejected. I perceive that everyone had their chance with me, in one way or another, probably thousands (or even millions) of years ago. I suspect that I didn't come here to change anything, but rather to understand everything. Even though this is a small fringe site, significant others silently observe in the shadows, perhaps a bit like poisonous snakes in the grass, waiting to strike at the opportune moment. Has probation closed?? Perhaps probation will never close. Perhaps that is the Nature of the Matrix. The End is Near?? Perhaps This Never Ends. Consider the Song That Doesn't End. I suspect that someone will embrace a thorough study of This Present Quest, but I doubt the results will ever be revealed. I suspect Purgatory in Perpetuity (for better or worse, I know not).
Consider the 'rich young ruler' image (above) and the similarity of my Dr. Who Blue Boy avatar. That 'ruler' image was front and center in the now demolished Irwin Hall of Pacific Union College. I witnessed the Desmond Ford 'Investigative Judgment' forum lecture there with probably a thousand people. We survivors should form a support group with yearly reunions. My posts are mostly irreverent non-scholarly religious and political science-fiction. My posts and threads might mostly be for me. They might not mean much to others. I might not even get my own posts. Still, some alphabet interns might be surprised by what emerges. I'm seeking some sort of protection from unknown threats, but I seem to be on my own as a persona non grata. I recently said, "I'm paranoid but that doesn't mean they're not out to get me." I was told, "We're not out to get you." Perhaps god got me. Perhaps I'll give this a rest for the rest of 2022. BTW, you don't hate me as much as I hate myself. I Hate My Life. Perhaps that's a Saving Grace. Hope Springs Eternal.
Consider Job to Daniel v Acts to Revelation. I'll leave it up to you regarding how to proceed. Consider the obscure yet detailed in-house discussions (above). I can't keep up with these people (especially after my 'stroke'). It is quite awe-inspiring yet not really inspirational. I've spoken with Dr. Ron Graybill regarding avoiding 'All or Nothing' in the writings of Ellen White. He was stoically non-committal (which was to be expected). The video (below) makes me face who and what I could've and should've been but wouldn't and/or couldn't. Some have it and some don't. A doctor's wife told me that. One Saturday night, while in high-school, I scrubbed-up and observed Dr. Robert Lee Marsh performing an emergency appendectomy at the Glendale Adventist Medical Center, the hospital I was born in. The wife of R.R. Beitz was the nurse in the delivery-room when I emerged into this world. That might be a day which will live in infamy. The video (below) includes a lot of names and places I walked away from. This hurts like hell, and this might be a fitting time to leave all of you, mostly because I'm not good enough. Only the Best Are Good Enough. I had my chance. I'm feeling and thinking really bad, and the end might be near. This feels deliberately inflicted. Perhaps I should get the message. Someone recently told me I should leave. Perhaps I should leave this solar system for all-eternity. Perhaps that was the plan from the foundation of the world. Who Knows?? Dr. Who?? That's It. I'm Done. Good-Luck and God-Bless. Namaste and Godspeed. Have a Nice Eternity.
I am the Tree of Akhenaton and the Djed of Amen Rah Mirror of Hathor/..
"the day of the Lord" (1 Thess. 5:2), "the day of Christ" (Phil 1:6), "the day of the Son of Man" (Luke 17:30), and "the last day" (John 6:39-40).
1988 Watch Tower, page 677.
