By Pejibaye Staff
CURRIDABAT – San Jose will host an emergency physicist conference this week to investigate a mysterious Avenida 2 pothole that could potentially prove Albert Einstein’s Theory of Relativity.
Top physicists from around the globe will convene to investigate the bizarre phenomenon that was discovered at the bottom of a gaping pothole in front of the Taco Bell in Curridabat last week. Theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking, who will head the conference, believes it could be the universe’s first proven wormhole into a quantum world that links separate places and times.
“THIS IS PERHAPS THE MOST ENCOURAGING DEVELOPMENT IN TIME TRAVEL,” Hawking said through his computer voice simulator. “WE MAY HAVE FOUND AN AVENIDA SEGUNDA INTO OTHER GALAXIES.”
The anomaly was first noticed by motorists commuting to work early Monday morning when some vehicles vanished attempting to drive over the pothole. When reported to the Transportation Ministry (MOPT), no immediate action was taken as officials said they were unconcerned about the initial claims.
“Cars falling into gaping holes in Costa Rica are commonplace,” said MOPT Minister Pedro Castro. “If I had 10 Colones for every time someone called to report a pothole, I’d have enough colones to buy a shirt at Multiplaza Escazu.”
But one curious road-side agua pipa salesman, Ricardo Trejos, took a closer look and discovered something was amiss.
“It’s just darkness down there, like a great emptiness,” Trejos said. “I called out to the people who had fallen and nothing. I dropped a pipa into the hole and it just vanished.”
The road has since been roped off with security tape and four guachimen have been deployed to guard the potential vortex into another universe.
Theories are already being circulated as to where the pothole leads.
Theories are already being circulated as to where the pothole leads.
While experts continue to search for explanations, many theories are popping up about what could possibly lay on the other side of the void. Several bystanders that gathered around the barricade this morning voiced their scientific predictions.
“It’s either Narnia or that Avatar place,” said University of Costa Rica physics major Lazaro Ruiz. “Those are really the only two possible scientific explanations.”
Other onlookers are hoping that something will emerge from the wormhole from another land or dimension.
“We filmed Jurassic Park in Costa Rica, so that probably means dinosaurs are on the way,” said Marta Morales. “If velociraptors can open doors, there’s reason to believe they can open wormholes too.”
Presidential candidate and San Jose mayor Johnny Araya, who gave a press conference in front of “El Hueco”, as it is known, said an intergalactic wormhole would be a tourism gem for Costa Rica.
“El Hueco is potentially a portal to another universe and it’s environmentally friendly,” Araya said. “Imagine a summer vacation package that includes beaches, zip-lining and intergalactic time travel. Not even Hawaii can offer that.”
