The funny thing is this isn't a cinematic extravaganza. It's just a stupid quest cobbled together for exploratory purposes. Actually, this is more silly and serious than you can imagine. You have no idea what I really think about. It's mostly sad and desperate, I'm sorry to say. I'm sorry I feel that way. I guess that's just the way things are. I think I would've been much better off not bothering with religion and questing. Perhaps I should've simply attempted to make a lot of money (within the confines of the law). Is Greed Good?? The one with the most toys...wins?! Crazy!! It's Insane!! Right?? An Individual of Interest said he hadn't seen me for a while, wondering if I was taking a break. I stupidly said I'd been in Oregon for a week. I don't think that's what he was talking about. Perhaps we hadn't seen each other for decades, centuries, or millennia. Separately, another Individual of Interest said something similar to me, and I responded with something stupid. Why is it that the Individuals and Celebrities of Interest seem to know all about me, and I seem to know next to nothing about myself and this present predicament?? Too bad I won't be around town much longer. How Many Lies and/or Errors Have ANY of YOU Documented in My Threads on Project Avalon and The Mists of Avalon?? Give Me An Official Comprehensive Version of the Answer to This Question. I'll Officially Respond as Best I Can. What if ALL of YOU Who Are Hiding Behind the Curtain as The Committee Behind the Curtain Will be Completely Exposed and Discredited Regarding This Sad Matter. Being Miserable and Hamstrung for Several Decades is Much Different Than Being Wrong and/or Lying and/or Insane. When I'm Not Certain, I Say So, Repeatedly. My Qualifiers Are Excruciatingly Clear and Precise. Regarding Some of My Medical Trivia, I Suspect a Lot More Than Blunders or Stupid Goofs. I Suspect Something About Me Which is Different, Possibly Regarding Genetics, Changelings, Soul-History, and Galactic-Jurisprudence. My Coding is Supposedly Wrong. I Didn't Go Looking for This Stuff (in the beginning) but I Became Increasingly Suspicious. When I Recorded My Threads on the Internet in a Somewhat Neutral Context, Things Got a LOT Worse for Me. Truth-Serum or Just a Cup of Shut the Fvck Up?? I'm Not Going to Do Anything. That's the Point. I'm Not Going to Do Anything for or against Anyone. I Sense I'm an Observer, Patsy, Scapegoat, Red-Herring, or Some Such Thing. I Understand That Earth Humanity is in a Terrible Mess and Things Are Really Complicated and Contradictory But I Deserve Some Sort of Remedy Regarding All the Above. There's More Than What I've Printed and Illustrated. I'd be Happy to Undergo a Polygraph or Equivalent but Regression Hypnosis Seems Too Hocus Pocus for Me. You Know, Planted Suggestions or Something to That Effect. Anyway, I'll Watch, Listen, and Learn All I Can While Nature Takes Its Course in the School of Hard Knocks. Consider taking another look at all Margot Robbie and Russell Crowe films, commercials, and movies. I have a vague sense that I should do that but I'm not sure why. I also have a vague sense that I'm too deep in the wrong part of the Matrix. Perhaps I need to just figuratively and/or literally 'Join the Human Race'. I got that term from the heretic Robert D. Brinsmead. I never met him but we emailed each other a couple of times (regarding focusing on the Teachings of Jesus). Desmond Ford privately (in a home in Loma Linda) called Bob a 'Secular Humanist'!! I was there. Who?? What?? Where?? When?? Why?? Why Bother?? Seriously, I sometimes wish I had remained in Burbank and gotten mixed up in Big Time Hollywood Intrigue but I'm a nice-guy, so maybe not. Actually, if I had taken acting and singing classes (I knew David Rose and Fred Swann on a first-name basis and I've been to both of their homes), belonged to the Los Angeles Live Steamers (I was never a member but my father was) and Los Angeles Astronomical Society (I was a member and spoke with Dr. Ed Krupp) combined with frequenting a Motorcycle Shop and Live Steam Shop in Burbank and racing 125cc Motocross at Indian Dunes, I might've become another Steve McQueen!! Well, maybe not. I'm fading fast. I remember sitting on one of these beautiful blue motorcycles (see the first video above) in a shop in Burbank!! I think it's my favorite but I never rode one. I had a Yamaha 125 MX, and rode it on the Motocross Tracks at Indian Dunes!! Shadow Glen was My Favorite!! I also enjoyed trail-riding and hill-climbing at Gorman!! Some of You Know What I'm Talking About!! Notice Steve McQueen at the end of the third video (above), and in the fourth, fifth, and sixth videos (below)!!
Despite rearranging, adding-thereto, and truncating my crazy threads, I'm leaning toward daily reading The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal combined with daily long walks in nature as a Pluralistic Middle-Way in Modernity as the Information-War threatens to undo us. Just don't overdo all the above. Add a little wine and recreation (according to some studies). Actually, I just made it up. Just Kidding. Perhaps Winning on a Micro-Level is Not as Important as How This Game is Played on a Macro-Level. What Would John Nash Say?? I feel very unsettled and uncertain. I'm not a 'go for the jugular' sort of guy. I guess I'm a 'wait and see' kind of guy. I do it for answers. This really is non-profit religious and political science-fiction. This often seems like a test and puzzle which seems stupid and ridiculous. I 'listen' to 'videos' as I drift off to sleep (which usually only takes a few minutes, possibly because of a perceived neuro-toxic condition). I have some theories about all this (which are mostly not nice, yet with no proof). If I really turned up the heat, I might cease to exist. Again, I mostly don't blurt things out (which might be hazardous to my health). Perhaps this is a more dangerous game than even I can imagine. I'm probably a conservative who became so conservative I became liberal (if that makes any sense). Again, I hint at things without solving the puzzle myself. I'm content to let others do that. Consider the controversial videos I regularly post. I couldn't do what they do, but I listen, watch, and wait. I probably get a lot of things wrong but the audience is quite limited and seasoned. I know I don't know, and I'm not in a hurry to know too much. I've found a lot of things seemingly dropped in my lap (perhaps as traps, puzzles, or revelations). I recently thought I encountered someone who looked a bit like Bill, but it probably wasn't him. Again, my policy is to not respond. Just my custom from childhood. I still suspect our overall predicament is worse than we think (or can think). The universe might be stranger than we think (or can think). What Would J.B.S. Haldane Say?? I'm rambling and borderline delirious. I find thinking and writing quite difficult. I have to force myself to do it. I still suspect this overall thing is more systemic than personal from antiquity to modernity. The first page of this thread is too heavy (except for aliens with supercomputers in a DUMB). Perhaps I should somehow cut the first page in half with this second page containing the rest. What if, in 2030, a real-deal researcher writes a HUGE book and/or documentary about Project Avalon and The Mists of Avalon with a Genuine Insider Perspective?? What if by searching we still can't get God all figured-out?? What if a nut-case in a secret-government deep-underground nut-house finally figures it out, but his and/or her therapists don't believe or understand him and/or her?? Worse yet, what if their imprisoned predicament makes communication with the general public impossible?? That would make the nut-case REALLY nutty!! Sort of Dark, eh?? Never Forget THX 1138. What?? Who?? Ultimately, Some of Us Who Never Got Credit Might've Gotten Closer to the 'ANSWER' Than Anyone Can Imagine (Before They and/or Others Even Knew What the Question Was). '42'?? WTF?? WHO KNOWS?? DTR KNOWS!! When it Comes to Encountering Top Directors and Actors, I Seem Chosen and Frozen, as if I'm Uploading a Mainframe Download. When 'Ingrid' the 'Snow Queen' from 'Once Upon a Time' Grasped My Hand, I Froze!! 'Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood' as I Stood Silently in the Back of One of the Four CBS Studios, I was Transfixed as I Watched a Significant Someone in the Front-Row Totally Concentrating on the Rehearsal. Consider Me as Ultimately Being That Person Science-Fictionally but as Shown in the Image Below with the Caption, 'Still Searching'. Those Words Were in a Caption of My High School Yearbook Picture. I Am 'Still Searching' More Than Anyone Can Imagine. Cheers and/or Whatever...
'Still Searching'
Last edited by orthodoxymoron on Tue Sep 10, 2024 2:59 pm; edited 12 times in total