I am very sorry and sad. Death is a part of life, but it doesn't get any easier with the passing of time. I wish we could just live forever, and skip the death part. I used to believe in resurrection, but now I believe in reincarnation. I just dusted-off my copy of "How We Die" by Sherwin B. Nuland, M.D. I think I'll read a chapter from it this afternoon, as I reflect upon your loss. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdVLClrfrOk&feature=related
+18
Sanicle
ClearWater
Mercuriel
Lionhawk
lindabaker
giovonni
Micjer
milkteagirl
Brook
orthodoxymoron
Jenetta
infiniteblue
malletzky
Heartsong
HigherLove
Carol
THEeXchanger
mudra
22 posters
A Love boost for Carol and her mother
orthodoxymoron- Posts : 13425
Join date : 2010-09-28
Location : The Matrix
devakas- Posts : 2038
Join date : 2010-04-10
Please accept my condolences Carol.
devakas
Carol- Admin
- Posts : 31798
Join date : 2010-04-07
Location : Hawaii
Dearest ones, I cannot even begin to express my appreciation of you and your kind thoughts and wishes. During the worst moments when her passing was so raw I came to this thread and played the music mudra and Brook had posted. You've no idea how it comforted me and took me through the tears to another place of peacefulness and beauty.
I've spent 8 months our of the last 12 here in Oregon taking care of my mother.
First I want to say I was happy I could do this for her during her 'end of life' journey. It probably was one of the most difficult challenges as well. This past month I've slept in the bed next to her at the hospital and had to listen to her cries for help as she burned up with fever or was in severe pain. It comforted her and made her feel safe knowing I was close by and would get up to do what I could to help make her more comfortable or advocate for her with the nurses and doctors. The nurses at this hospital were the angels of the night as they came in each time we called to help and took a huge burden off my shoulders.
My mother became like an infant needing everything done for her. She reminded me of the princess and the pea whating her pillows fluffed just so.
She would complain that she wanted to go home and sleep in her own bed. The doc replied, "Wouldn't we all." One of her friends stopped in and ask her how long she planned on staying there. She replied, "Well, I thought a week and a half but each time I die, I keep waking back up." We had a good laugh on that one as she had a great sense of humour and often joked even in the worst of circumstances.
I think watching her die - where she suddenly sat up in bed and had trouble breathing was the hardest part. Even though she had lymphoma she actually died of a heart attack. She also donated her eyes for lymphoma research which was a bit of a shock for me having to talk to their staff only minutes after her death. What impressed me most was her doctor who had rushed over and then started talking to her about how she was now in a place where she could ask god questions and now know the answers and how he would have to wait. I was so touched by his tenderness toward her even after she was gone. I'm still struggling with the grief end of this as some of you know from your own personal experiences. I'm just glad I had the courage and strength to keep at it so long as the burnout factor took its toll and I am so ready to go back home to my own family.
My mother learned some of her most important life lessons in her last days. She said she learned one must love and be kind. If one can help someone else, they should do it. Things were no longer important, relationships were what counted. She was 87 and operated the ranch up until last year so this was a very active person in life and in the community. I think many will miss her as she really was a fighter and had a lot of spirit. I'm so glad her suffering is over and that she if finally back in her real home. After all, planet earth is just a way station that we are all passing through. If we can be kind, even when we don't feel like it, I think that is success.
Again, thank you dear ones so much for your presence in my life. Gathering in loving awareness is really what life is all about. Mahalo nui loa
I've spent 8 months our of the last 12 here in Oregon taking care of my mother.
First I want to say I was happy I could do this for her during her 'end of life' journey. It probably was one of the most difficult challenges as well. This past month I've slept in the bed next to her at the hospital and had to listen to her cries for help as she burned up with fever or was in severe pain. It comforted her and made her feel safe knowing I was close by and would get up to do what I could to help make her more comfortable or advocate for her with the nurses and doctors. The nurses at this hospital were the angels of the night as they came in each time we called to help and took a huge burden off my shoulders.
My mother became like an infant needing everything done for her. She reminded me of the princess and the pea whating her pillows fluffed just so.
She would complain that she wanted to go home and sleep in her own bed. The doc replied, "Wouldn't we all." One of her friends stopped in and ask her how long she planned on staying there. She replied, "Well, I thought a week and a half but each time I die, I keep waking back up." We had a good laugh on that one as she had a great sense of humour and often joked even in the worst of circumstances.
I think watching her die - where she suddenly sat up in bed and had trouble breathing was the hardest part. Even though she had lymphoma she actually died of a heart attack. She also donated her eyes for lymphoma research which was a bit of a shock for me having to talk to their staff only minutes after her death. What impressed me most was her doctor who had rushed over and then started talking to her about how she was now in a place where she could ask god questions and now know the answers and how he would have to wait. I was so touched by his tenderness toward her even after she was gone. I'm still struggling with the grief end of this as some of you know from your own personal experiences. I'm just glad I had the courage and strength to keep at it so long as the burnout factor took its toll and I am so ready to go back home to my own family.
My mother learned some of her most important life lessons in her last days. She said she learned one must love and be kind. If one can help someone else, they should do it. Things were no longer important, relationships were what counted. She was 87 and operated the ranch up until last year so this was a very active person in life and in the community. I think many will miss her as she really was a fighter and had a lot of spirit. I'm so glad her suffering is over and that she if finally back in her real home. After all, planet earth is just a way station that we are all passing through. If we can be kind, even when we don't feel like it, I think that is success.
Again, thank you dear ones so much for your presence in my life. Gathering in loving awareness is really what life is all about. Mahalo nui loa
_________________
What is life?
It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
giovonni- Posts : 3066
Join date : 2010-04-10
Location : The Great Northwest
Thanks Carol
CetaceousOne- Posts : 261
Join date : 2010-04-10
Location : Phoenix, AZ
My sympathy for your loss, Carol - and a wish for a speedy return to the comfort of your home and family.
Sincerely, C1
Sincerely, C1
SiriArc- Posts : 426
Join date : 2010-04-11
Location : Denver
mudra- Posts : 23229
Join date : 2010-04-09
Age : 69
Location : belgium
Your words are so much moving me Carol.
With you I feel the pain of the loss of a loved one and at the same time the relief that she is now free from her Earthly tangles .
Your mother took with her the most precious lesson we can learn through this human experience: that Love amongst each other is what we should be aiming at every moment for Love is our true nature .
Being less than Love is like walking lame in the world.
Much Love for You dear Sister.
mudra
With you I feel the pain of the loss of a loved one and at the same time the relief that she is now free from her Earthly tangles .
Your mother took with her the most precious lesson we can learn through this human experience: that Love amongst each other is what we should be aiming at every moment for Love is our true nature .
Being less than Love is like walking lame in the world.
Much Love for You dear Sister.
mudra
mudra- Posts : 23229
Join date : 2010-04-09
Age : 69
Location : belgium
Deva Premal Miten in the light of love / om shree dhanvantre namaha
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCT4LnWRg1k&feature=fvwrel
Love Always
mudra
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCT4LnWRg1k&feature=fvwrel
Love Always
mudra
burgundia- Posts : 5520
Join date : 2010-04-09
Location : Poland
My deepest sympathy and love for you Carol...