Insider Trading Charges
The story claims that the FBI have arrested a Wall Street wizard named Andrew Carlssin, on insider-trading charges. The FBI claims that with an initial investment of only $800, Carlssin built a personal fortune worth over $350 million in just two weeks!
Authorities claim that every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which the FBI and the Security and Exchange Commission claim cannot be coincidence or luck. "The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information. He's going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers Island until he agrees to give up his sources," quotes a confidential SEC source. The source added, "If a company's stock rose due to a merger or technological breakthrough that was supposed to be secret, Mr. Carlssin somehow knew about it in advance."
The past year of nose-diving stock prices has left most investors crying in their beer. So when Carlssin made a flurry of 126 high-risk trades and came out the winner every time, it raised the eyebrows of Wall Street watchdogs.
The Accused Defence
When investigators hauled Carlssin in for questioning, they got more than they bargained for: A mind-boggling four-hour confession.
Sources at the Security and Exchange Commission confirm that 44-year-old Andrew Carlssin offered the bizarre explanation for his uncanny success in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs on January 28. In a bid for leniency, Andrew Carlssin has reportedly offered to divulge "historical facts" such as the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden and a cure for AIDS.
Carlssin declared that he had traveled back in time from over 200 years in the future, when it is common knowledge that our era experienced one of the worst stock plunges in history. Yet anyone armed with knowledge of the handful of stocks destined to go through the roof could make a fortune.
"It was just too tempting to resist," Carlssin allegedly said in his videotaped confession. "I had planned to make it look natural, you know, lose a little here and there so it doesn't look too perfect. But I just got caught in the moment."
Now all he wants is to be allowed to return to the future in his "time craft." However, he refuses to reveal the location of the machine or discuss how it works, supposedly out of fear the technology could "fall into the wrong hands."
Officials are quite confident the "time-traveler's" claims are bogus. Yet the SEC source admits, "No one can find any record of any Andrew Carlssin existing anywhere before December 2002."
"We don't believe this guy's story -- he's either a lunatic or a pathological liar," says an SEC insider.
Source: original story printed Weekly World News and posted at www.yahoo.com.
http://www.ufodigest.com/aprilfool.html
Personal note: I've no idea if this story is bogus yet it does hold some entertainment value. And just for the record, even Col. Corso said the US Government had discovered time travel and that was years and years ago. Project Pegasus (a US time travel project) was in the 1960s, well over 40 years ago.
Part 2
Time-Traveler Resurfaces
by Dirk Vander Ploeg
Posted: March 31, 2006.
Andrew Carlssin being escorted to jail by FBI agents in January 2003 for alleged SEC violations.
Andrew Carlssin, the alleged time-traveler and insider-trader, has surfaced in Toronto, Canada.
Stories and rumors have circulated on Internet websites and in chatrooms for years about how Carlssin turned $800 into a $350 Million fortune. This sudden wealth raised the suspicion of the Security and Exchange Commission, which requested the Federal Bureau of Investigation arrest him. The FBI initially detained him in January 2003.
"The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information", said a confidential SEC source.
While in custody on Rikers Island Carlssin is alleged to have confessed, "It was just too tempting to resist. I had planned to make it look natural, you, know, lose a little here and there so it doesn't look too perfect. But I just got caught in the moment."
He also claimed that he had traveled back in time from over 200 years in the future where knowledge concerning the volatility of the stock market was w]ell known. This is where the story takes another strange twist. While waiting arraignment in jail Carlssin just disappeared. What's even more surprising is that the story disappeared as well. No newspaper or media reports followed up on the original story. Repeated phone calls and emails to both the SEC and the FBI failed to even acknowledge the arrest of Carlssin.
But now the mystery has been solved. In an exclusive interview Carlssin, speaking on the record, tells all. His only conditions were that his exact location not be revealed and that the name of his new company not be disclosed until it goes public, which he predicts will be in 2007.
Andrew Carlssin is alive and well and living in the Toronto area! "I don't know what all the fuss was about", said Carlssin. "The authorities and I came to a mutual understanding and I was released to leave the country."
Carlssin was a 44-year-old when the incident was reported three years ago, but he doubts that he has aged a day. When asked what he had been doing during the missing years, he chuckled and simply said, "No comment!"
The original story that appeared in the Weekly World News stated that Carlssin was from the future. Commenting on the story he said, "Timing is everything and everything happens in time. I am here now so this is my time."
Carlssin states that he works in the oil industry and is developing equipment to extract oil from the Alberta tar sands. Carlssin claims that Alberta sits atop the biggest petroleum deposit outside the Middle East, and that 300 billion barrels a day can be recovered. Until now there has been a catch. Alberta's oil isn't the stuff that geysers up from the ground. It is mixed with tar and sand and is almost impossible to extract economically.
Carlssin states that he had invented a process that filters out the tar and sand and the oil recovered is the richest and cleanest in the world. The process, which he named "Carlssinicity", extracts the oil for a cost of only one dollar per barrel and does not pollute the atmosphere! He claims to be very excited about the project and foresees his invention revolutionizing the world and the way we perceive oil. "It's as easy as making a pot of coffee", he added.
In concluding the interview Carlssin added, "Oil is not the product of dead dinosaurs. It is the biological breakdown of renewable organic matter: the blood and energy of the planet. Every school age child knows this…or will."
I don't know if it really was Andrew Carlssin I interviewed over the telephone, but I believe it was and I don't think this will be the last time we hear from him. I asked why he contacted me specifically and he said, 'Anyone that believes in UFOs already believes in me.
One more thing, the caller reminded me that Saturday was April 1. Timing is everything!
http://www.ufodigest.com/carlssin.html
http://www.ufodigest.com/categories.html#time
Last edited by Carol on Sun Jan 09, 2011 12:14 am; edited 1 time in total
