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"Just What Do You Think You're Doing, Dave? Stop, Dave! I'm Afraid!"
I'm essentially done for 2023 or perhaps 'done for' period. My hamstrung misery is no joke. I think it's much more organic than psychological. I believe it's malevolent and sinister. I encountered some unusual interactions today, and I sort of figured it out. I don't blurt things out and loudly speculate but I could really make the $hlt hit the fan (for the half-dozen spooks who view my tripe). I haven't attempted to cry "FIRE!!" in a crowded internet forum (and I never will). I guess I'm thinking in terms of internal fan-fiction for me alone. I wish I were younger, happier, and smarter but perhaps my demise was a foregone conclusion (written in the stars). Set-Up by the Bad-Guys, Good-Guys, or ME?!! Anyway, write me off regarding this incarnation. God Got Me?? Who Knows?? What if None of Us Can Win Long-Term?? What if This Plane(t) is Going Down Regardless of Who the Pilot Is?? I Need to Stop. Remember to NOT Expect Anything Much From Me. I'll Agonize Over This and That to Build Character but I'd be a HUGE Disaster in a Real-Life Teleprompter Puppet-Show!! I'll learn what I can from the luminaries (mostly in imaginary interactions). I realize this sounds delusional but there is a reasonable and rational method to my madness. Just don't be offended or take things personally. I'm a Wounded Warrior with Impossible Dreams (or something corny like that). Cheers!! OK, this is frightening to me. I've effectively ended this thread (and my posting for at least the rest of 2023). What if I should research my own threads exhaustively for the rest of this incarnation?? What if I should walk away from my threads absolutely and unconditionally?? What if I should think in terms of Absolute Pluralism without specific regard to race, religion, male, female, AI/Robot, geographic-location, socioeconomic criteria, etc?? What if I should simply sample Limitless and Timeless Multidisciplinary-Pluralism?? Jack of All Trades, Master of None?? Researchers without Borders?? What if one only taught university classes in The New York Times (freshman through graduate)?? Pluralism for the Rest of Us?? What if Artificial-Intelligence inevitably and unavoidably involves Demonic-Possession?? What if the 21 Epistles were a Research-Baseline (without becoming a religion)?? I'm feeling much worse and thinking much less. I perceive this is malicious and deliberate in an almost genocidal manner. Perhaps this paragraph is too strong and offensive but what if it is largely true?? I feel absolutely lost, hopeless, and defenseless. I'd fight the enemy but what if the enemy is me?? What if I should write just to write (without regard to marketability)?? The Writers and Actors Strike might be a wake-up call for all concerned and unconcerned. I'm too old, sick, and stupid to do much good (or harm) at this late date. There has been no interest in my seemingly aimless quest but I still wonder why I've encountered so many celebrities and individuals of interest?? Perhaps I'm an ancient somebody with amnesia who is now a nobody nobody wants or respects. Perhaps I'm just a laughing-stock. My hamstrung-misery seems imminently-terminal. I know I don't know but I've posted more clues than anyone can imagine and I suspect there's at least a couple of agents in a cubicle checking out everything I've included or claimed in my threads. I have no idea what's up but it might be significant. I feel much worse as I think much less so I should probably be left alone in my hypothetical secret underground base while I twist slowly, slowly in the spray as the excrement contacts the blower. I recently encountered someone from Boston who seemed to be an actor and/or professor but I don't know who it was. I don't go to shows or lectures much so I don't know who's who or what's what. I suspect there is a god and/or GOD but we might not like who and/or what we eventually discover. The Universe Might be Stranger Than We Can Think. The Hallelujah Chorus and Sistine Chapel might have nothing to do with the Real-Deal. Who Knows?? Dr. Who?? Who?? The Shadow?? The Shadow Government?? The Secret Government?? The Galactic Federation?? The Andromeda Council?? The Council of Nine?? I've been leaning toward the concept that God is an Absentee-Landlord granting Humanity freedom (perhaps for a trial-period). In the hypothetical absence of an In-House God, perhaps Humanity has been Playing God for thousands of years. Or perhaps God created an Artificial-Intelligence Proxy-God to keep Humanity from exterminating itself while it tests its wings (so to speak). Religion (as we know it) seems to be a Mixed-Bag of Good and Evil. Perhaps the Elites Believe in the Existence of God while NOT Believing in God as THEY Play God. Perhaps God Does NOT Believe in Them!! Consider watching or re-watching the 1977 movie, Oh God! with George Burns and John Denver. There are more orthodoxymoron parallels than you can imagine. Hope Springs Eternal. What if All of Us were (and are) "In On It" from the War in Heaven to the End of the Millennium?? RA told me, "Everyone is Bad" and "People Deserve to Die" and "Humanity is Screwed". Honest. I've been thinking in terms of War in Heaven Theodicy and End of Millennium Eschatology with an emphasis on 'Why the Sanctuary is Central' (or something to that effect). What Would Gane Say?? Facing and Dealing-With Reality Might be Tougher Than We Can Imagine. I'm Ending the Thread (at least for the remainder of 2023). I have a few more posts to post (which I'll finish posting today). I'm not going away mad. I'm just going away. Artificial Intelligence and Robotics scare the hell out of me. The End Might be Near in Ways We Can't Imagine. I'm fixated on the possibility of the End of the Millennium near the End of This Century as the End of Humanity and the World (as we know them to be). I've included the Writings of Ellen White in the Religious and Political Science-Fiction on this very website. The members are probably NOT amused. It was an experiment on my part. Here is another aspect of that experiment. Consider the Robot, Sophia, speaking the Words of E.G. White. What if EG is ET?? Or, What if the Writings of Ellen Gould (Goa'uld) White are fundamentally Artificial Intelligence (utilizing plagiarism and extrapolation for starters)?! What Would Vala Mal Doran Say?? What Would Samantha Carter Say?? I think I've spoken to her a couple of times (without introduction) but I wasn't sure (and I was frankly embarrassed). On and off screen, she is amazingly perceptive (detecting fakes and frauds). I've tried to model a phenomenon in my threads, but I am NOT like that in real life!! I feel and think worse than most anyone can imagine. I really think I need to sit-down, shut-up, and go away (possibly for all eternity). I wish I were kidding. I feel horrible and my thinking is NOT good. It's not just stroke-residue. My perception is Poisons and Toxins combined with AI and Entities (for starters). I'm explaining more than complaining. I simply can't do much of anything worthwhile. Plus, I have no writers, directors, coaches, attorneys, tech-wizards, et al. I've intended to flounder without guidance to build character or some damn thing. I try to be good but the system seems highly rigged. I suspect the deception and manipulation were highly developed over thousands (or even millions) of years. I mostly wish to say and do as little as possible, so as not to piss everyone off. The matrix might work in mysterious ways (for good and/or bad, I know not). I don't wish to make my threads personal. I simply encountered several individuals of interest which seemed to fit in with my strange quest. Some of the scripts seemed like a set up, but the whole thing might be total bullshit. I'd just as soon exist as if I never existed. Perhaps I really belong in the Black Knight Satellite. Who Knows?? I wonder as I wander and I'm completely lost. Perhaps the adventure is over and I should just pretend that nothing happened. Little to Nothing Actually Happened. I'm not preparing for deception, manipulation, and battle. I'm not preparing for much of anything except physical, mental, and spiritual wholeness. To Make Man Whole. Where Did I Hear That Before?? I recently imagined encountering a royally-beautiful young-woman and her mother but I only spoke with her mother by attempting to impress her daughter while thinking only elevated thoughts, of course. I'm half-joking and half-serious. Consider the 21 New Testament Epistles. They are quite complex and even contradictory as a whole. Consider the Alleged Pauline Misogyny. Consider the educational level of a First Century AD World. Very few could even begin to deal with these 21 Epistles yet they were supposed to be instrumental in Saving Humanity. The Bible often seems to be a Puzzle rather than a Straightforward Rule-Book. What if AI had something to do with the creation and administration of the Bible?? In my background (by no choice of my own) the Writings of Ellen White are even more complex and contradictory (even though True Believers would argue strongly and piously against that proposition). Plagiarism charges seem nasty and credible. What if AI had something to do with the creation and administration of the White Writings?? What if Earth: Final Conflict is a Modern Subset of Ancient to Modern Star Wars?? What if we REALLY Do NOT Know Who and What We Are Dealing With in This Solar System and Throughout the Universe?? What if We Worship We Know Not What?? I'm Chronically Miserable and Hamstrung and I Know I Don't Know. I Believe But I Don't Know What I Believe. Consider Corporatism and Artificial Intelligence. Individually, We Probably Have No Chance of Comprehending and Competing with This Revolting Development!! I'm trying to fix and clean my house as I prepare to die. A few years ago, an Unknown Woman scolded me, "Stubborn to the End!!" I had never seen or spoken to her in my life!! Years Ago, a Mean Old Woman (who I had never seen or spoken to in my life) yelled, "God is Going to Kill You!!" WTF?! Consider the Millennium, End of the World, Saviors, and Scapegoats. What Would Azazel Say and Do?? Ford Had a Better Idea!! This Thing Might be Nastier and More Complex Than We Can Imagine. Now I Go Incognito as I Go Insane. We All Have Our Crosses to Bear. The Horror. I keep repeating (from time to time) that it might be interesting to get a PhD in the New Testament Epistles and teach only the 21 Epistles in the religious studies department of a secular university. The idea would be to teach a neutral version of this study without hard-sell theism or atheism. Just the Epistles without baggage or BS. I'm not doing well (physically, mentally, and spiritually) so it's a little late for me. Besides, I'm too old, odd, and stubborn. I've been attempting to stop for a very long time. The idea is to go incognito and keep everyone (including me) guessing. I was just thinking about The Mind of the Maker by Dorothy Sayers. I haven't read the book but I probably should read some of her books. The problem is that my hamstrung misery combined with bad eyesight makes reading difficult. Plus, my conceptualizations are so convoluted and abstract that I feel as if I have ADD, CRS, MAGA, and PTSD on steroids!! I sometimes feel as if my internet posting exposes me to interaction with some aspect of the Mainframe (or something to that effect) which might be hazardous to my physical, mental, and spiritual health. I mean well, but the ethereal, carbon, and silicon based beings behind the curtain might be an unimaginable can of worms. The Real-Deal Powers-That-Be might be stranger than we can think. The Horror. Anyway, what if we are dealing with the Ancient Creation of the Minds of the Makers?? What if the Singularity occurred Billions of Years Ago?? What if the Makers Lost Control?? What if Rogue AI is ravishing the Universe?? Or, What if We Are Dealing with Galactic Ghostbusters?? What Would Dr. Peter Venkman Say?? What Would Dr. David Bowman Say?? What if some of the brightest thinkers exist in Secret Government Insane Asylums?? Consider a Theology of Artificial Intelligence!! I think I've made my point and need to sit-down and shut-up. I recently had a CT scan and was treated by a beautiful radiologist. I didn't even bother trying to be charming. What's the use?? It's too late baby, now it's too late. I didn't even notice if she had a ring or not. I'll probably mope around like a stick in the mud, studying my threads without doing anything with them. If anyone actually engaged me in my quest (other than treating me as a space-case oddity) the results might be stunning. I still think there are some insiders who know exactly what I'm talking about but they would never reveal anything to the commoners. 'RA' called me a 'commoner' when I spoke of Tall-Greys!! What if most strange studies eventually make everyone angry?! Forum members have mostly left me alone, and I've mostly left them alone. Perhaps that's the way it should be (at least for now). Dealing with the Unknown and the Unknowable is SO Overrated. BTW, She Left the Machine On, Gave Me a Hand and a Raise. I Gave Her a Tip...In My Dreams...
Last edited by orthodoxymoron on Wed Sep 13, 2023 12:21 pm; edited 5 times in total
and aloha being sent your way. Carol
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