My words: "If I'm right, I tend to see the step that Sui Generis takes, the liberation from the Thuban Sex Cult, as chosen in a similar stance or calibre".
Part of Sui Generis' reply to this:
"Therefore, my liberation from the Thuban Sex cult did not come as a result of me refusing Thuban. I did not turn my back on it for a second. I still don't and i never will. I withdrew my presence from Thuban facing Tony and stepping backwards. I face him even still"
Reading your reply, I found myself remembering what I've shared here about my willingness to read and see my own story, when in a conflict with others or with a situation. In other words, to see what's in it for me that shows the truth of who I am, present in any circumstance that I'm part of or that I witness around me, which easily becomes the same thing
Thank you for refining your explanation of how you chose your attitude, Sui Generis. That's an inspiration to me and if I may refer to your "bit of context" where you talk about refusing, what it did to you and offered you as information, as truth about yourself, I can see, by your explaining of your liberation from the Thuban Sex cult, that it doesn't work: running-or-walking away from what's being refused or rejected.
I can see clearly that the emotional content in that gesture, that action, is exactly the burden on our back, running with us. Or also, according to a law of nature, where attention goes, energy flows.
Just like in that story of the 2 monks, arriving at the shore of a lively stream, finding a woman present, trying to find a way to cross the water in safety. One of the monks suggests to her, to carry her on his back and she accepts. Once they've safely arrived on the other side, the woman chooses her own path and the 2 monks continue to walk their own path. After a while, the monk who carried the woman, exclaims "We monks aren't supposed to touch a woman and I did!" To this his companion answers "You're still carrying her and I've forgotten about her already when we came to the other shore, where she disappeared in another direction"
I'm fond of that story, for its mix of humor and wisdom teaching, how our mind is hooked as soon as its triggered by guilt for having disobeyed a rule that isn't created and chosen by ourselves, a fear of punishment that brings instant punishment on the beholder. That's maybe similar to what Ortho chooses to call it, as he does in post 76 here.
"Fill up any empty space in your energy-system that you find present. Drink water and eat something as a treat".
Sui Generis' reply to this:
"The empty space inside is an illusion, in the sense that no one should ever go and seek...to fill. From the soul's perspective the hurt is real, the disappointments, the feelings are real and when you perceive you lose something or when you think you lack you go and seek to fill. But in truth there is nothing to fill. When you look at yourself from the Spirit's perspective you know you are already whole".
Yes, I agree with you, Sui Generis, that you and I with everybody are already whole. I think I forgot a detail in the instruction of filling up any empty space. I should have said "Fill yourself up with your own energy, wherever you find or sense an empty space" That's a significant difference and as far as I've experienced it, it works well for me to do that. Not as in "this instruction is a guarantee for success" for I believe that in this sort of working, there are as much curriculums as there are human beings, when using their skills of creatorship.
To offer you a bit of context too, in the early '80's I was introduced to a school, a training for intuitive development and I believed these instructions to be dictated rules that I had to obey, in order to make them work for me. Being a minister's daughter, having grown up in a small world with people who mostly shared more of the same view with me, I held quite a black-and-white view on life, how I dealt with it and with others in it. I believed that all the teachers were seeers who could see everything and therefore know all truth in everybody.
So, in a way, I declared them Gods and Goddesses, now that I think of it. Wasn't I thrown in the cauldron of that religious potion, so that I belonged and should know that I was loved by God? What more do you need, hmm? If you look at life with an intention to "gather together in front of God's throne and sing and dance in white robes, for eternity? That's an image I held inside of me as a young girl. Another part of me was wiser and rebellious, shrugging shoulders, showing off in bravery, jumping in the ditch on Summer Sundays after the sermon of my father, with other kids. Our black lackered shoes and clean white socks on the shore, at times nearly left behind.
It took me 30 years and a prophecy to myself, a surprise gift to myself on my 59th birthday, Jan. 1 2010: "From now on I will come out of the closet with all of my faces and all of my masks" voiced with my own voice out of the deepest blue. The prophecy became an action, I experienced a big rumbling inner earthquake that year. In despair for identifying myself with an illusion, which became for one and a half year, the tree root to which I clung onto, on the edge of a cliff. This was purgatory too and to me the essence of the 9 of swords Tarot card.
And so it happened that I could let that black-and-white view and attitude melt, for some time all was fluid, as the fluid phase of the chrysalis, at some point ready to come out of its butterfly cocoon, drying its wings and spreading them for a first flight. To me this was a rebirth with a new vitality, spontaneity and wonder, in more of me, myself and I. I danced a lot at home, my body lost 15 kg in 6 months time. All of it was as much welcome as it was scary! Oh boy, oh girl, how I learned that being truly powerful and strong includes all flavors of the emotional rainbow as well! And that vulnaribility was a great companion to it! Plus the mundanities of life and the exquisities of life, courseness and refinement both.
The garbage of planet Earth as the compost for the flower to feed on and florish. I guess this post describes in several ways how qualities of transformation and transmutation manifest themselves in the real world... out there. Most of it happened without me noticing it, until I began creeping out of my cocoon