I remembered a dream I had about two weeks ago. I repeated it now to Haurvata.
I was a passenger of a car traveling along a busy freeway. Suddenly, I noticed all the heads of the people in passing autos turning to stare at something behind me. As I looked around, a white streamlined sportscar passed me to my left. I gazed at it in admiration. Never had I seen any car so beautiful, and yet so unique in design! I couldn't place its manufacturer, and decided at last that it must be a rare custom-built car or a prototype of a car of the future. As it drove away, its license plate declared in simple letters, "Honolulu"
"Honolulu," I thought to myself. "That's where I was born!" In a flash, I found myself in the driver's seat of the futuristic car. The car then revealed itself to be even odder. It had no engine, no control panel, nor any bit of mechanical equipment or parts. Despite this strange fact, the car drove itself remarkably smoothly, swiftly, and safely. For awhile, I sat in the car enjoying myself immensely. But soon I became restless and fearful---how can this be happening? How can any car drive itself?
Panicked, I quickly took control of the situation. Somehow, I gathered the tiny car in my arms like a hoopskirt and sprinted down the freeway. It was a ridiculous sight, and I woke up grinning and laughing!
Haurvata listened carefully to my dream and chuckled at the incongruous final image. Then he offered his interpretation of the odd dream.
"This dream is basically about the difference between the little self and the Soul self --- the ego and the individuality. The white car is the symbol of Soul, the pure vehicle for Spirit which you, and any sincere seeker, may become. As you noticed, the car drove on its own power, which was non-mechanical and self-generated. This shows that the true source of all power is within Soul itself, and not anything less, such as the mind or the emotions.
"The little self, on the other hand, is the part of yourself that wants to control the vehicle. Through ignorance, it distrusts Spirit's ability to guide Soul through the challenges of life. It overrules Spirit and tries to do thing through personal effort and struggle. This makes the little self feel, and perhaps look, important. But, from the spiritual point of view, such efforts are merely ludicrous. Even worse, as you have discovered at first hand, personal effort and struggle will tire you. It will drain your energies and shut off the creative inflow of Spirit. In shor, it will leave you 'high and dry' just when you need divine help the most.
"Now here is one more thing about the vehicle which you have overlooked! It is very important, so I will point it out to you. It has to do the the design of the car itself. The use of the car as metaphor for Soul --- a 'vehicle' for Spirit --- as well as the car's white color as a representation of purity, are conventional and thus easily recognizable spiritual symbols. However, the rest of the car is very individualized and original! I believe you used the words 'futuristic' and 'unique' the passengers of the surrounding cars on the freeway admired the white car, but not because it moved without mechanical means. Indeed, they could not have known that from the outside! They admired the car beause of its great originality, power, and beauty!
Soul also has its own originality and unique beauty. Each Soul is ulike any other. By the time Sout reaches the point of being a seeker of self-realization and god-awareness, it is utterly itself! The dream was thus pointing out to you the level of spiritual individuality you have reached. The individuality is entirely different from personality, which is associated with the ego. This individuality of which I am speaking is the fruit of spiritual development over lifetimes of experience and training.It is an individuality built upon choices made, a particular interest and style developed, and a specific spiritual mission taking shape.