I will be looking into this at some point.
I have been on various medications since the age of 25.
Writing that post was the most difficult thing I have had to do, in terms of stigma. It makes the stigma of my romantic/affectional orientation a cake walk (I do not even know what the expression means -- it would be easier to use the word "easier".
Thank you Mother Nature. I feel good today. Sleep pattern stabilized. Still need to work on the spaghetti recipe. It knocked out several people. That was not the point.
Over the years the best combination for focus for me has been clonazepam + caffeine. It does not surprise me that caffeine works, and I have reviewed this in my studies.
Interesting side effect of the Cymbalta: No more migraines. NONE. I have been free of them for months, now.
Is this the game: zap me with EMFs, and then give me something for EMF
The truth is I did not want to be on anti-depressants. I had tried at least 5 of them, with horrible side effects. I started the Cymbalta because my psychiatrist said the clonazepam dose I was on was unacceptable. The only way she would agree to continue to prescribe for me is if I take the Cymbalta. I had to, because it is the only one of its kind that is targeted specifically for generalized anxiety disorder. Of course, the Cymbalta is really expensive and the clonazepam is REALLY cheap.
My psychiatrist retired a couple of years ago. He had known me as a professional first, so it was easy to go to him. He saw my heart and he trusted me. He once said he wished all of his patients could be as judicious with their medications as I am. But over the years, "as needed" became daily. I could not be around people without visibly shaking with panic.
No sexual side effeX with the Cymbalta, but all of the others made me a eunick. :op
Oh -- back to the stigma matter-
I was fortunate as an undergraduate at Sonoma State to have Dr. Robert Slagle (Neuroscience, UC Berkeley) as my professor for an 12-unit immersion course in "Neurosicence and Physiological Psychology". He was also a co-professor for the 12-unit immersion course in "Advanced Research Design & Analysis". www.sonoma.edu
Anyhow, he is the one who helped me get over the stigma of taking medications. He told me I was a very bright man and that he was certain I would know how to leave out any information that might prevent them from treating me. Props to the man for what he did for my quality of life. His classes just about killed us, and I had to take one of them twice, because I fell apart under the pressure.
Do I want to take medications forever? No. Part of my therapy was learning to accept that it was okay to be on medication, and that it did not mean I was weak, or "flawed".
But I know there is so much more. I am open. Some of this will take some time to arrange.
Right now I need the support of my sister and Gregg to step me through the process of getting some medical coverage (my health insurance expires at the end of the month -- all quite odd when I had been asking for a break from work so that I would not fall apart). They sort of let me go during a period of time when I made it known that I was going to apply for Family Medical Leave.
I also know that environment is key.
If I can secure some benefits long enough to avail myself of geographical therapy, or therapy that was available in another area, I will do so.
My sister may be in a serious relationship soon. Nether Gregg nor I have employment ties (it's amazing what he can do on the side; his unemployment benefits ran out -- not much work for a bench carpenter). Regardless, I see all of this as a time for amazing opportunities.
I would still like a proper, supervised ayahuasca journey. I am just not sure it is a good idea with the medication I take. It could feel like I was gone for years.
I do fantasize about there being a retreat where I can detoxify, and TOTALLY heal.
Both my symptoms and the treatment impede the process of "going within".
I live in a great place, but I know Gregg and I need a place of our own, soon. My nephew just got out of prison again. He is in a mandatory treatment program, but he gets time away, and his surprise appearances have also added to my stress (he has tried to kill my sister/his mother on more than one occasion).
In the meantime...I have the blessed Mists.
I do not have to be afraid to say that I am scared.
DONNA SUMMER - BREATH OF HEAVEN
It's the feeling of the song. I regard the words as metaphor.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dN-H2kHXRcPEACE, LOVE AND GRATITUDE