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51 posters

    Humour

    Threecaster
    Threecaster


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    Humour - Page 23 Empty Re: Humour

    Post  Threecaster Sat Jul 28, 2012 11:16 am

    This is for you Floyd. I saw this and immediately thought of you.

    Thank GOD I have no idea why....(what? I'm psychic, not All Knowing...who wants that?) cyclops




    Desire To Ejaculate Motivates Local Christian To Wed


    Humour - Page 23 Onion_news1946_jpg_250x1000_q85

    from The Onion dot com


    (Plus you have to remember, I live in the buckle of the Bible Belt, where it gets both thumped and bashed! Huh?! Shocked I'm talking about the BIBLE you perv! Smirk )
    mudra
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    Humour - Page 23 Empty Re: Humour

    Post  mudra Sat Jul 28, 2012 2:50 pm

    CAPTION FAIL: Jamaican Vacation Hoax

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23H8IdaS3tk


    Love Always
    mudra
    Threecaster
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    Post  Threecaster Sat Jul 28, 2012 3:54 pm

    Oooyeah 1 "You gotta be can we do you think if can make a should just be alone?" Oooyeah 1

    Lmao Double Thumbs Up The Winner

    OMG....damn near fell out my chair!...*gasp*

    Most excellent!
    mudra
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    Humour - Page 23 Empty Re: Humour

    Post  mudra Fri Aug 03, 2012 3:51 pm

    Humour - Page 23 Side%20effects%20cartoon

    Love Always
    mudra
    Floyd
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    Post  Floyd Sat Aug 04, 2012 2:54 am

    Q. Why does a cow wear bells?
    A. Because its horns dont work.
    Cow
    Floyd
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    Post  Floyd Sat Aug 04, 2012 7:48 am

    Threecaster wrote:This is for you Floyd. I saw this and immediately thought of you...


    ...Desire To Ejaculate


    Thank you for having me in mind when thinking about the subject of desiring to ejaculate. I am truly flattered. Thank you darling.
    Embarassed
    I didnt know you cared!
    Cool
    Aquaries1111
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    Post  Aquaries1111 Sat Aug 04, 2012 10:56 pm


    Floyd
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    Post  Floyd Sun Aug 05, 2012 6:19 pm

    Floyd
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    Post  Floyd Tue Aug 07, 2012 9:37 am

    Our Beer,
    Which art in Barrels.
    Hallowed be thy drink,
    Thy will be drunk,
    I will be drunk,
    At home, as it is in the pub.
    Forgive us this day our daily spillages,
    as we forgive those that spill against us.
    For thine is the beer,
    The Bitter and the Lager,
    For ever and ever,
    Barman.

    Beer
    Threecaster
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    Post  Threecaster Tue Aug 07, 2012 10:31 pm

    Humour - Page 23 Dlfugly
    devakas
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    Post  devakas Thu Aug 09, 2012 6:22 pm

    Humour - Page 23 Birthday

    buddhist wisdom and love
    Aquaries1111
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    Post  Aquaries1111 Fri Aug 10, 2012 11:26 pm


    avatar
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    Humour - Page 23 Empty Only in the mist´s of avalon

    Post  We Are You Sun Aug 12, 2012 9:59 am

    EARTH ANGELS. “Enter Paradise.” By, Bella Capozzi (AuroRa Le). August 12, 2012.
    Posted on August 12, 2012 by theangeldiaries
    1


    Enter Paradise
    ✿ When the mist’s burned off and the new sun’s arisen, you then shall see with eyes no longer blind.

    ✿ Clearly hear the melody of the songbird in the morning, with ears which only recognize what’s true.

    ✿ Stroke the softness of the velvet ropes that bind you. Undo them. And so then comes the parting of the ways.

    ✿ Flowers blossom, then they wither shortly after. This is now. Sometime soon, you see, they shall wither and die no more. That is then. Weave them in your hair. Arrange yourself a sweet bouquet; carry it merrily with you, down the lane. At it’s endpoint lies destiny. And so it begins.

    ✿ Feel, feel, feel, and never not feel. The cool rain is falling hard now. Feel it. The soil grows soft and wet and fertile now. Feel it. When the Earth grows parched, the rain shall always fall again. Let it wash you clean, let it douse your fires. Feel it.

    ✿ Step into the garden of your imagination. The Earth is like a tree in season. Eat well of the fruit she bears and enter Paradise.

    ✿ Be as little children once again. You have lost that, as you go along your way. Find where lies your inner child. Embrace her. Be as one with her. Connect.

    ✿ The cycle of life is like the sands in the hourglass. You have reached the tipping point. The cycle’s done. Begin again.

    Copyright © Bella Capozzi. All rights reserved. You may copy and distribute this material as long as you do not alter it in any way, the content remains complete and you include this copyright notice.
    Aquaries1111 wrote:
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    THEeXchanger
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    Post  THEeXchanger Tue Aug 14, 2012 10:32 pm

    This is a very funny thread, thank you
    Carol
    Carol
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    Post  Carol Thu Aug 16, 2012 1:58 pm

    The truth about our problems!

    An old station hand named Billy was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in the outback when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

    The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the old man,
    "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

    Billy looks at the young man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

    The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

    The yuppie then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg,Germany ....

    Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

    Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to Billy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

    "That's right. Well, you'll be helpin yourself to one of me calves, then, since you won it fair en square." says Billy.

    He watches the smartly dressed yuppie select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the man gingerly picks it up & stuffs it into the boot of his car.

    As the yuppie is carefully brushing the dust & hair off his suit, Billy says, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what work you do & where you come from, will you give me back my calf?"

    The yuppie thinks about it for a second, wondering what this wrinkled up dirt encrusted uneducated old man could possibly know?
    He grins and then says, "Okay, old fella, why not? I'm a believer in fair play."

    "You're a politician & you work in Canberra." says the old timer.

    "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but, tell me how on earth did you guess that?"

    "No guessing required." answered Billy "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked.

    You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.

    This is a herd of sheep.Now give me back my dog."

    AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS ALL ABOUT.--

    Regards


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
    Carol
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    Post  Carol Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:03 pm


    An elderly woman goes into a bar and orders a Scotch with two drops of water.As the bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.

    'The bartender says

    'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink.

    In fact, this one is on me.' As the woman finishes her drink the woman to her right says 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.'

    The old woman says 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.

    ''Coming up' says the bartender

    As she finishes that drink,

    the man to her left says

    'I would like to buy you one, too.'The old woman says

    'Thank you.

    Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.''Coming right up' the bartender says.

    As he gives her the drink, he says

    'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?'

    The old woman replies

    'Sonny, when you're my age,

    you've learned how to hold your liquor...

    Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.'




    'OLD' IS WHEN....Your sweetie says

    'Let's go upstairs and make love'

    and you answer:

    'Pick one, I can't do both!'

    'OLD' IS WHEN...Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot!

    'OLD' IS WHEN...A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy ...And your pacemaker opens the garage door!

    'OLD' IS WHEN...Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

    'OLD' IS WHEN....You don't care where your spouse goes

    ... Just as long as you don't have to go along.

    'OLD' IS WHEN...You are cautioned to slow down

    by the doctor instead of by the police

    'OLD' IS WHEN..

    'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fiber today

    'OLD' IS WHEN...'Getting lucky' means you find your car... In the parking lot.

    'OLD' IS WHEN...An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

    AND

    'OLD' IS WHEN.....You are not sure these are jokes!

    Have a good day!
    
    "Young at heart"
    (slightly older in other places!)



    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
    Carol
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    Post  Carol Fri Aug 17, 2012 12:15 pm

    The American Medical Association has weighed in on Obama's new health care package. The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologist's had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

    Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
    Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"

    The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.

    The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter". The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

    In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington. lol!


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
    Carol
    Carol
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    Post  Carol Fri Aug 17, 2012 1:44 pm

    I don't care if you are old or young you have to watch this .
    this guy is a christian comedian, too funny not to watch !!!

    VIDEO: http://jesus-loves-you.org/?p=6641


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
    Aquaries1111
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    Humour - Page 23 Empty Pizzazzipazzi

    Post  Aquaries1111 Wed Aug 29, 2012 7:47 pm

    Floyd
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    Post  Floyd Tue Sep 04, 2012 11:16 am

    Q. What sits on the bottom of the icecold Arctic Ocean and shivers?
    A. A nervous wreck.
    Floyd
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    Post  Floyd Sat Sep 08, 2012 8:01 pm

    Men over 40


    Bit of scouse humour for yer la

    ps This vid contains swear words for those who dont want to listen.

    Very very funny though
    Floyd
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    Post  Floyd Sat Sep 08, 2012 8:17 pm

    Another great scouse comic

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pW87BM_3fw


    Kenny Everett - Barbra Streisand

    Look away now if you are are Barbra Streisand fan
    Floyd
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    Post  Floyd Fri Sep 14, 2012 7:26 am

    avatar
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    Humour - Page 23 Empty Rapa Nui disclosure

    Post  We Are You Fri Sep 14, 2012 6:21 pm

    Rapa Nui disclosure
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    Humour - Page 23 Empty Only for students

    Post  We Are You Fri Sep 21, 2012 6:40 am

    Only for students

      Current date/time is Fri Apr 19, 2024 1:17 am