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51 posters

    Humour

    Carol
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    Humour - Page 21 Empty Re: Humour

    Post  Carol Thu May 03, 2012 11:03 pm

    Humour - Page 21 Milkfather_thumbnail


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
    Carol
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    Post  Carol Thu May 03, 2012 11:16 pm

    Enjoy..

    QUOTE:

    THIS WAS TOO FUNNY NOT TO SHARE AND SOMETIMES WE NEED A GOOD LAUGH...THIS IS IT...


    WARNING : ONLY Read This When You Are Able To LAUGH OUT LOUD.


    I went to Home Depot recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'you're definitely going to crap yourself' road-kill chili. Tasty stuff, although hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off.


    Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement. Despite the chilies swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I was unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my dear wife as 'thunder and lightning'.


    Knowing that a time of reckoning HAD to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for Home Depot, my quest being paint and supplies to refinish the deck. Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the toilets that the pain hit me.


    Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh, Oh, CRAP, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The chilies from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the toilets which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The chilies fired a warning shot.


    There I stood, alone in the paint and stain section, suddenly enveloped in a toxic cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as a red apron clerk turned the corner and asked if I needed any help.


    I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what his reaction would be to the toxic non-visible fog that refused to dissipate.. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could've warned that poor clerk, but didn't. I simply watched as he walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all he could do before gathering his senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving his arms about his head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. ..........BIG mistake!!!!!


    Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.. Suddenly things were no longer funny. 'It' was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the toilet, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand explosion took place.

    Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my butt was burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'.. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Son-of-a-b****!, did it smell that bad when you ate it?', then quickly left.


    Once finished and I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.'


    My smirking of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.


    Home again without my supplies, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Lowes. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. Idiots claim they're going to have to repaint the store. Insanely Happy


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
    Carol
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    Post  Carol Sun May 06, 2012 9:35 pm

    Punography


    I do not enjoy computer jokes . Not one bit .

    I changed my i Pod name to Titanic . It's syncing now .

    When chemists die, they barium .

    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst .

    I know a guy who got addicted to brake fluid . But said he could stop any time .

    How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it .

    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me .

    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore .

    A guy got arrested for playing the guitar. For fingering A minor .

    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity . I can't put it down .

    I did a theatrical performance about puns . It was a play on words .

    They told me I had type A blood , but it was a Type- O.

    A dyslexic man walks into a bra .

    PMS jokes aren't funny, period .

    Why were the Indians here first ? They had reservations .

    Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory . I hope there's no pop quiz .

    Energizer battery arrested . Charged with battery .

    I didn't like my beard at first . Then it grew on me .

    How do you make holy water ? Boil the hell out of it !

    Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils ?

    When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble .

    What does a clock do when it's hungry ? It goes back four seconds .

    I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger . Then it hit me !

    Broken pencils are pointless .

    I tried to catch some fog . I mist.

    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary ? A thesaurus .

    England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

    I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest .

    I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx .

    All the toilets in a New York police station were stolen . Police have nothing to go on .

    I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough .

    Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes .

    Velcro - what a rip off !

    Cartoonist found dead in home . Details are sketchy .

    Venison for dinner ? Oh deer !

    I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure .



    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
    mudra
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    Humour - Page 21 Empty Re: Humour

    Post  mudra Tue May 08, 2012 6:53 am

    Oh, Dear, the End Times are Here! (The End of Fear!) - with Scott Grace, the Spiritual Dr. Seuss

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WyjuLA5qlw&list=UUweltmLFTOzdsi-yssrrdjA&index=2


    Love Always
    mudra
    Floyd
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    Humour - Page 21 Empty Dull and Boring

    Post  Floyd Wed May 09, 2012 6:04 am

    http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/dull-and-boring-twinning-links-up-804482

    The villages of Dull and Boring become twin towns

    Dull and Boring: Twinning links up sleepy villages with unusually dreary names
    Floyd
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    Post  Floyd Wed May 09, 2012 6:26 am

    Carol
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    Post  Carol Wed May 09, 2012 1:06 pm



    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
    mudra
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    Humour - Page 21 Empty Re: Humour

    Post  mudra Fri May 11, 2012 4:25 pm



    Humour - Page 21 BB01C7541F446ABC0F93039E1A2229-vi


    Dogs Letters to God


    Dear God ~

    1. The new Terrier I live with just peed on the Oriental rug and I have a feeling my family might blame
    me ‘cos they think I am jealous of this stupid dog. Since they have no sense of smell, how can I
    convince them I’m innocent? Does Pets Mart sell lie detectors?

    2. I’ve always lived at the shelter and I have everything I need. But many of the cats here have names and I don’t.
    Could you give me a name please? It would be good for my self-esteem.

    3. When my family eats dinner, they always bless their food. But they never bless mine. So I have been wagging
    my tail extra fast when they fill my bowl. Have you noticed my own blessing?

    4. Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

    5. Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can’t make up our minds what NOT to order?
    Or is it the carpets again?



    6. More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

    7. Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?

    8. When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

    9. If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

    10. When my foster mum’s friend comes over to our house, he smells like musk!
    What’s he been rolling around in?

    11. We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns,
    clickers, beepers, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths.
    What do humans understand?

    12. Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars
    for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the Beagle across the street.

    13. How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
    Where are their priorities?

    14. Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt,
    the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar
    riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it
    would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle to the Chrysler Beagle!
    www.peaceinspiration.com/

    Love Always
    mudra
    Carol
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    Post  Carol Thu May 17, 2012 4:09 pm

    The Night Nurse

    The more you think about this one, the funnier it gets. Short & sweet, a good one.


    A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says:

    'Well, that's great....that's just great..........some Asshxle's got my pen!'


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
    Sanicle
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    Post  Sanicle Sat May 19, 2012 9:39 am

    Humour - Page 21 EagleCats
    Humour - Page 21 Fireman
    Humour - Page 21 Fishandbatman
    Humour - Page 21 Jeff
    Humour - Page 21 Timetostopdriving
    Time to give up driving when the dog has this look on his face lol.
    Floyd
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    Post  Floyd Thu May 24, 2012 8:35 am

    Floyd
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    Post  Floyd Thu May 24, 2012 8:58 am


    https://www.youtube.com/v/UfuN9HRDVZY

    Vote for Dick. Hes not fussy lol.
    Carol
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    Post  Carol Tue Jun 12, 2012 1:09 pm

    A Jewish husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when
    this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the
    husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks
    away.

    The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who was that?"

    "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

    "Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough , I want a divorce!"

    "I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a
    divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in
    Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Jaguar in the garage and no
    more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

    Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

    "Who's that woman with Moishe?" asks the wife.

    "That's his mistress," says her husband.

    "Ours is prettier," she replies.


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
    Threecaster
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    Post  Threecaster Thu Jun 14, 2012 6:42 am

    Since everyone had Zombies on the brain... Heh heh

    Mayhaps this shoulds be goes in the music posts, but...hey...




    and for dessert...






    (as usual, aplogies for the low Q, best I could find...)

    Carol
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    Post  Carol Fri Jun 15, 2012 6:54 pm

    Cows & Politics Explained

    A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

    A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

    AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

    AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

    A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

    A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

    DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

    CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

    BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are mad. They die. Pass the shepherd's pie, please.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

    A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.

    AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

    AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
    Threecaster
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    Post  Threecaster Sat Jun 16, 2012 6:55 pm

    GAAAAA! Run Away! Run Away!
    It's a trap I tell you! The Cuteness! The Cute...

    Its a..... itss...a....inf...infinite... Hypnotize Hypnotize Hypnotize

    Humour - Page 21 AbnVA

    http://ex798.com/wont-play-with-expensive-equipment-but-finds-great-joy-in-a-piece-of-rubbish/
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    Post  devakas Sun Jun 17, 2012 2:17 pm

    Humour - Page 21 000wqx10

    "A human being is a part of the whole, called by us the 'Universe', a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security." - New York Post, 28 November 1972

    "When I read the Bhagavad-Gita and reflect about how God created this universe everything else seems so superfluous."


    Last edited by devakas on Sun Jun 17, 2012 2:34 pm; edited 2 times in total
    devakas
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    Post  devakas Sun Jun 17, 2012 2:30 pm

    Humour - Page 21 Econom10
    devakas
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    Post  devakas Sun Jun 17, 2012 2:39 pm

    Humour - Page 21 Moron110

    Last Photo of a Moron...





    It's one of the laws of nature
    that the stupid usually
    remove themselves from the gene pool.
    Threecaster
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    Post  Threecaster Mon Jun 18, 2012 7:59 am

    Humour - Page 21 2011-07-15-f350e5c

    Carol
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    Post  Carol Mon Jun 18, 2012 10:26 pm

    Driving Reaction Test For Old People.
    I know all of you are very good drivers, so here is a fun test to see how good your reflex is!

    The automobile driving manual says the average driver's reaction time is .75 seconds or 1 car length for every 10 mph.

    Test your average reaction time. Be careful, this can be addictive! You will be surprised at how slow you really are.

    JUST CLICK ON THE DART WHEN THE SHEEP STARTS TO RUN ..... THERE ARE 5 SHEEP.
    Click here: Reaction Test http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/sheep/reaction_version5.swf

    hahaha... I ranked as a bobbing bobcat. 0.267 seconds Have fun.


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
    Aquaries1111
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    Post  Aquaries1111 Tue Jun 19, 2012 11:35 am




    devakas
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    Post  devakas Wed Jun 20, 2012 12:55 am

    Humour - Page 21 Educat10



    For a fair selection everyone has to take the same exam: Please climb that tree.
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    Humour - Page 21 Empty Nothing but channeling from Detroitchannel and Chicagochannel as usual: All That Is Also Loves

    Post  We Are You Wed Jun 20, 2012 10:01 am

    We Are You wrote:
    devakas wrote:Humour - Page 21 Educat10



    For a fair selection everyone has to take the same exam: Please climb that tree.

    bubble aura exams from here and now on

    pleiadedolphininfos: The Dolphin Collective ~~ The Fidelity of Us on Your side ~~ 20/06/2012 Channeled by Méline Lafontby Laura Tyco

    Wednesday, June 20, 2012

    The Dolphin Collective ~~ The Fidelity of Us on Your side ~~ 20/06/2012 Channeled by Méline Lafont

    We are the Dolphin Collective and we greet you all, our companions and beloved family members. How truly blessed we are to be reconnected this way, dear ones, for the Ascension process is about to become Reality in your illusory world. It has been a long time that we have informed you of the now coming conditions, the circumstances leading to Ascension and we are overjoyed to be able to notify you that the time of Reunions with our brothers and sisters of the Higher Realms now comes into force. A lot of preparations went into this process and a lot has yet to come forward but Ascension is now imminent and cannot be stopped. Prepare yourselves to connect with the most wonderful worlds of Love and Light ; these will all surpass your capacity of imagination!



    This world is Light! This world is Love! You are this world! Crown yourselves kings of your own loving world and behold your kingdoms for you will feel on top of the world in a limitless Dimension with endless borders to parallel worlds. This ultimate liberation from constraints and from your illusory Dimension of duality will be the crowning, the rewards for all the labor you have done throughout countless incarnations. Be truly proud of yourselves for this all implied the most difficult test you had to endure and now you have succeeded with flying colors. All the tests you underwent were solely for the purpose of gaining experiences and were never meant to push you deeper in the unfathomed depths of illusion. Wherever you are on your path, be assured that guidance and intuition will pull you out of it in the end. In most cases the darkest places are the first abodes you stayed in before you returned home to realize fully where you truly belong, what you have or who or what you truly represent. Energy! That’s the answer … Pure Love energy from the Light. Each one of you is an aspect of the Source of “All That Is” and forms its own integration with this Source.


    The Lights can vary according to your state of consciousness, but that’s really the only difference between you for you are each and everyone of Angelic descent comprising 1 huge brilliant Light. Be born into this Light and welcome yourselves Home to your Origins. God is All That Is and so are you! Children of Mother/Father God, creations, sources of Love, Light, stars … All That Is! We are one, never forget that!


    We Love you so much, of that you can be sure. A long time ago we have chosen to stand by your side in this process because of our pure, unconditional Love for you. For we admire your pride, your courage and your strength to reach this purity of being again. We greet you and we take our leave now for just a little while until we return for our next meeting through this lovely channeler. We are the Dolphin Collective and we thank you for bringing this message forth. We love you.
    Copyright © 2012 by Méline Lafont. All Rights Reserved. Permission is given to copy and distribute this material, provided the content is copied in its entirety and unaltered, is distributed freely, and this copyright notice and links are included. http://pleiadedolphininfos.blogspot.com


    Posted by Méline Lafont pleiade dolphin at 11:35 AM
    Email ThisBlogThis!Share to TwitterShare to Facebook
    pleiadedolphininfos: The Dolphin Collective ~~ The Fidelity of Us on Your side ~~ 20/06/2012 Channeled by Méline Lafont.

    Laura Tyco | June 20
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    Post  We Are You Wed Jun 20, 2012 7:48 pm


    Angela Peregoff: Private Awakenings With The Divine

    Private Awakenings With The Divine
    By Angela Peregoff

    June 18, 2012

    www.angelaperegoff.com

    This week and for the rest of the month we will be in the extreme energy-field of awakening – a time of moving into the stillness of a quiet pendulum swing, getting ready to breathe ourselves into a whole new depth of potential, creating and remembering our direct connection with the essence of our sacred Souls.

    While the maddening crowds of unconsciousness continue to rally around a parade of discordant fantasy, you will find more inner reality and truth coming to the surface.

    Don’t be surprised when it is hard to tell yourself falsehoods or to speak falsehoods as the Soul pushes up charged parts of Self in order that we each take on the New emergence.

    While this month of subtle intensity unfolds it will be more difficult not to act on your truths, moment to moment. The old direction the planet was moving in is now becoming very foreign to those Souls bearing Light consciousness. We are poised near the end of a 9 year cycle that began in 2004; its purpose is to deliver a healing of duality and to reveal the power of the Soul living as a conscious experience.

    This week in particular becomes important as we stand on this energetic bridge for the Soul because on Thursday we enter a sacred turning point of the year that is also the beginning of summer in the Northern Hemisphere.

    The heavens open as a collective force to support a utilization of creation that is adjusting the very foundation of human experience; shifting the consciousness of humanity and allowing any man, woman or child that desires to release the overlays that belief systems and conditioning have to drive the human psyche.

    As you awaken to the interior creative Source within you will most likely be inspired by a lot of new ideas, as well as deeper connection to your dreams. You may also be able to see the outer world as if you were living in a dream. You may feel more lucid in your dreams than you do when with your eyes open at times. There may be more conscious guidance in your dreams. There will be more work going on in the sleep state. You may find that you need to sleep longer hours than has been typical. You may even find yourself nodding off during the day, as a dreamy kind of tiredness moves through you. You may also feel like you are losing contact with your reality in some ways.

    You may become more aware in a waking state of your separation – all the ways that you have separated yourself from others and from the actual experiences of your life. If you focus on either the positive or the negative, you will create more imbalance. What you want to create is a connection to the middle point, the razor’s edge of life of neutrality. People have typically been afraid of neutrality, as it requires you to let go of your dramas (both negative and positive dramas). But it is being in the crown chakra and the root chakra in stillness that harmoniously anchors the Soul creating the new internal freedom.

    In order to connect to the Soul, you must move into a place of stillness and neutrality.

    This is the only way you can know reality as it truly exists. Presence in the NOW, without agendas or resistance to one side or the other of life. Awakening can only exist in the reality of neutrality. This requires that you let go of your stories. Ask the Divine Mind to work with you for your highest good and healing of the separated self. As you leap out of your old history and into your Essence you will see where others are connected to their ideologies for a sense of self or belonging to the herd.

    Those with agendas will try to keep US political issues, a floundering European economy, and terrorism in your consciousness. They want their agendas to stay in place so that they have control. They will make up stories to inflame, in a desperate attempt to keep your consciousness in fear so that you cannot become empowered or neutral. That is what they count on. They are threatened by the fact that the lower levels of the astral are breaking down. This is how they have been able to control mass consciousness in many ways.

    Don’t go there – reclaim your own mental and emotional balance, connecting to inner truth and they will not be able to control or dupe you.

    As I stated earlier this year is near the end point of a 9 year cycle. We are no longer in a time of preparation. We are now in the energetic time of emergence and reconnection to all the eternal parts of Self. The first part was the breakdown of the outer/old. The last part is the integration of the New. This middle ground is the bridging point of the outer and inner realities, where you are learning how to become neutral. And it is your choices that will determine how graceful the process will be for you. There is no escape from this rise and shift in reality; it will be happening for everyone in unprecedented ways.

    Towards the latter part of this awakening month, you may find yourself having bursts of energy. All of a sudden you may feel Light energy moving through you. This can be alarming, seeming to be anxiety. As it moves through you, it will hit your blockages, such as in the solar plexus. You have three diaphragms that will be affected (the throat, solar plexus and the anal region). It will help if you can breathe through the “crunch” times. Martial arts, tai chi, sacred dance, chanting and affirmations will also help to lessen the intensity upon the body.

    You may also feel awakening in your heart space. You may feel warmth there, like warm water that is starting to flow out and expand the heart area. This is a time when some will deepen their experience of feelings on a consensus level, not just their own feelings. This is because the Soul is aware of being connected to all things. You will just get inklings of this at this point, depending on the curiosity of your own Soul.

    This entire process of transformation takes a lot of energy out of people so you may have some exhaustion and even more pains in the body – particularly areas of the back, spine and shoulders, as well as the gut (digestive area). As the grids around the planet become activated with the energy to live a better, kinder life of wholeness the physical may suffer momentarily. Make time for self-care so that the body can also feel connected to God and Soul in more intimate ways.

    In due time there will be a greater respect for the higher senses that are awakening and integrating. The ones who have been preparing will feel affirmed and relieved in these New days. Yes, showing up fully for the revelation of the Divine Plan will definitely be a Hallmark moment in our eternality! Listen – can’t you hear the angels and heavenly masters preparing for the biggest cosmic celebration ever?

    Thanks for travelin the Universe with me and showing up to fulfill Infinite vibratory capacity throughout 3D,



    ©2003 – 2012 Angela Peregoff | All rights reserved.

    Please feel free to copy and share these copyrighted Blessings with your friends, letting them know the source and inviting them to visit my website.


    Mary Magdelene: The Battle of the Sexes

    Mary Magdalene: The Battle of the Sexes
    June 16, 2012

    http://jeshua.net/

    by Pamela Kribbe

    Pamela channels Mary Magdalene

    Dear friends, dear brothers and sisters,

    I am full of joy to be here in this space with you. My heart truly opens up because I love you so. I am now free from earthly burdens. And I can easily see your beauty and your courage as you move on in your life on Earth. I wish you could see it yourself.

    Often you are so much caught up in self-judgment and in belittling yourself. This makes it difficult to receive all that is given to you. Often I can see that your energy is tied in a knot. Your eyes are closed and you are imprisoned in your own negative judgments. And it is to be expected that you all have to deal with this sense of unworthiness as you are born on Earth.

    It is part of being on Earth. In fact Earth is covered, on the energy level, with a sense of self-belittlement and judgment which is passed on from generation to generation. Some people are blessed to have experienced in childhood the sense of innocence and spontaneity that is natural to life.

    But often when you incarnate on Earth as a human being your consciousness gets easily clouded by the negativity and fear here. I am here now to remind you of your true nature and to help you awaken to it in your everyday life.

    Because even if the energy of the Earth can be very dense and heavy, I know your soul’s strength. You are truly warriors of light, even if you sometimes seem to have forgotten it. Sometimes I feel grief about that, a kind of sadness seeing you feeling so lost. I still have human feelings, you know, and I am connected to you from my heart.

    Today I would like to tell you a story about what happened between the sexes, between men and women, because much of the dark energy, or the deep sense of unworthiness has to do with this history. This history has to do with the area of sexuality. And you know, sexuality should be a source of light, of love and a genuine meeting of souls.

    In a true sexual encounter you are open from the heart. It is an experience of bliss and ecstasy to meet a person on that level. But tragically, few people on Earth can experience sexual union in this way. There is so much deep pain in the hearts of both men and women in this area, because it is the area of sexuality that you are most vulnerable as a human being.

    You are all aware of recent history and by recent I mean the last four to five thousand years. During this period of time, the female energy was devalued and humiliated by an aggressive male energy. In the female being this has created a wound on a very deep level.

    But it has also hurt men. Because of this aggressive male energy that was present throughout this era, men were not able to develop their sensitive, feminine side. It became difficult for them to connect to other people from the heart, to show their emotions.

    Women on the other hand lost touch with their sense of self worth and empowerment. As a result, men and women became estranged, alienated from each other. And the area of sexuality, which is the most sacred between man and woman, became violated. Instead of blissful, it became an area of great pain.

    Now I want to go one step further and tell you about a part of history which is older than is known to you. There have been times in which women seized power and exerted power over men. Women can sense this within themselves.

    Even if they have been victim of male aggression in many lifetimes, they can also sense the ability within them to manipulate energy in men. I am saying this not in any way to make you feel guilty or ashamed. I want to go to the essence of the wound in men and women.

    And so I ask you now to feel within whether you recognize the wound of which I am speaking inside of you. Is it possible for you to feel true love in relationship with the other sex? Can you be woman or man without shame, with no reservation toward the other sex?

    I am telling you that the sense of unworthiness that all of you are all struggling with is much related to the sexual wound in both men and women. Now is the time to heal that wound. And I ask women especially to rise above issues of anger and distrust that they experience towards men. You, both men and women, have been both victim and perpetrator in this long history of battle.

    Imagine with me that you are in front of your lover, and if you don’t have one, just imagine someone standing there.

    Now first take a look at the flow of giving: what are you giving to this other person, what are you able to give? And take a good look at your own body as you give this energy. How does it feel in your heart, how does it feel inside your belly? And if you notice that the flow of giving is interrupted in some area, don’t judge it, don’t try and change it now, just observe it.

    Now look at the flow of receiving. What are you receiving from your partner; what are you capable of receiving from your partner, what are you able to receive?

    You will probably see that there are areas in both flows that feel blocked inside of you. I want you to know that these blocks are not just your personal blocks. You have inherited them from history. So don’t judge yourself for it. What you are invited to do in this time, is to heal this pain, and in doing so you will help heal the collective pain in mankind as well. You are much stronger than you perceive yourself to be.

    I invite you to do a little healing exercise with me. Now, I am not asking you to heal the pain or the blocks you perceive in yourself. But I am asking you to look at the pain or blocks in your partner. Keep it very simple. Just ask your partner: what would you like to receive from me? What would serve you most, what would help to empower you in your life? Give it to him or her on the energy level.

    I would like for you to have an understanding of your partner, especially to understand the specific pain of the opposite sex. The wound or the pain is different in men and in women. Men have become estranged from their own feeling side, their own feminine nature.

    They long for more true connection. And women need to connect to their own power and self worth again. Men can help women do this by showing them their true beauty and strength. Women can help men by forgiving them and taking responsibility for themselves. There can be such a beautiful interaction between men and women.

    Although the spiritual road is basically about healing yourself, it is now time to join hands and to build bridges between men and women. It is by having true compassion and understanding for each other that you also truly heal yourself. You rise above the old battle and once again allow the area of sexuality to become an area of true joy and companionship.

    As you struggle with inner darkness and a sense of unworthiness, I ask you to consider to what extent this is due to your wounds as a man or a woman. By being aware of this aspect, you become more understanding of yourself and allow more light into your life.

    On the New Earth that is being born in these times, men and women will join again in harmony. Their energies will naturally complement each other. It is in the area of sexuality that your soul, your spiritual energy, truly comes down to Earth, from the highest energy center to the lowest one.

    When there is sexual union from heart to heart, you are back in the center of paradise. You feel one with Spirit for a moment. In that moment of togetherness, you channel the purest energy to Earth. Sexuality originally is such a precious gift.

    The fact that it has become clouded with dark and painful energy is a big burden to all of you. It is the cause of much of your emotions of loneliness and despair. But there are many signs of hope in this time.

    Men and women are genuinely seeking to establish a true connection with each other. There is a heavy burden on all of you, but also a great potential for healing.

    Again, I invite you to see yourselves as I do from the other side of the veil. I ask you to be one with me now and look at yourselves through my eyes. Can you see yourself as the beautiful and courageous souls that you are? There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing! You are perfect beings. I wish you could accept that from me.

    © Pamela Kribbe 2012
    www.jeshua.net



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