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    HAPPY ST. PATICK'S DAY - LOVE THE IRISH

    Carol
    Carol
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    Admin

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    Location : Hawaii

    HAPPY ST. PATICK'S DAY - LOVE THE IRISH Empty HAPPY ST. PATICK'S DAY - LOVE THE IRISH

    Post  Carol Thu Mar 17, 2011 10:05 am

    HAPPY ST. PATICK'S DAY - LOVE THE IRISH St-patricks-wallpaper
    HAPPY ST. PATICK'S DAY

    Love The Irish

    Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!'

    Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

    Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'

    ababab
    Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

    The man said, 'I do, Father.'

    The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'

    Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

    'Certainly, Father,' the man replied.

    'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest.

    Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

    O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.'

    The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?'

    O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die , yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.'

    ababab
    Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.

    'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!'

    'Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney. 'Where are ye callin' from?'

    ababab
    An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

    He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'

    'Just water,' says the priest.

    The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'

    The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'

    ababab
    Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.'

    'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?'

    'When it was over,' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.'

    'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?'

    She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'

    ababab
    Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.

    He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

    Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

    He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

    In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.

    She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'

    Patton said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'

    'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ....... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.



    Life is too short for negative drama & petty things.
    So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly!
    From one unstable person to another... I hope everyone
    in your head is happy - we're all doing pretty good in mine!







    Last edited by Carol on Thu Mar 17, 2011 10:14 am; edited 2 times in total


    _________________
    What is life?
    It is the flash of a firefly in the night, the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    With deepest respect ~ Aloha & Mahalo, Carol
    Floyd
    Floyd

    Posts : 4104
    Join date : 2010-04-16

    HAPPY ST. PATICK'S DAY - LOVE THE IRISH Empty Re: HAPPY ST. PATICK'S DAY - LOVE THE IRISH

    Post  Floyd Thu Mar 17, 2011 10:07 am

    Im just off for my st paddys day guinness(s) Carol..nice one..Patrick being my middle name and all

    Happy paddys day everyone Toast
    Sanicle
    Sanicle

    Posts : 2218
    Join date : 2011-02-28
    Location : Melbourne, Australia

    HAPPY ST. PATICK'S DAY - LOVE THE IRISH Empty Re: HAPPY ST. PATICK'S DAY - LOVE THE IRISH

    Post  Sanicle Thu Mar 17, 2011 10:11 am

    Insanely Happy
    hobbit
    hobbit

    Posts : 137
    Join date : 2010-04-26

    HAPPY ST. PATICK'S DAY - LOVE THE IRISH Empty Loa Damballas

    Post  hobbit Thu Mar 17, 2011 6:04 pm

    March the 17th is Loa Damballas, when the serpent arrives, the creative force.
    It's one really really big mother of all serpents thats here, and I know them well, and this one is the daddy.
    http://altreligion.about.com/od/symbols/ig/Vodoun-Veves/Damballah-Wedo.htm
    Hobbit( can't You hear the hisssssssss?)

      Current date/time is Wed Jun 23, 2021 12:02 am