Monte ShedonaAsk Why Me
Hear My word, O you shining star, you shimmering scintillation of brilliance whom the world mysteriously seems to revile and despise. Hear Me, you who have been maliciously slandered for naught, who have been opposed and cast out, by the masses since the dawning of your consciousness. Hear Me, you who have been robbed of the natural and native joys of childhood, its sense of innocent delight and rightful carefreeness, by those who, yet children themselves, seemed to have nothing better to do than stay up at night conceiving new ways to offend and strike against you, when you did nothing to deserve their cruelties. Hear Me, and I shall bestow upon you the secret which will make for your victory and the undoing of their despicable designs.
In the depth at the core of an imposed indignity of humiliation, you have shaken your fist into the abyss of the heavens and requested one answer, desired to know one thing, and it has been simply this: why? Now listen, My beloved, and let not your mind cavil against what your heart will testify, for I shall speak, and I shall answer this question that has burned itself into your brain in the astonishment of this incredible juxtaposition, this exquisite anomaly of the discrepancy between the glory that lies within you and the dust of shame cast upon you from without.
There is but one truth of the matter, and it is this: that you were born into the darkness of this world, amidst the strife of contending forces, as a sole, singular, shining light. Indeed you are the light of all lights, and against this alone, that darkness of ignorance rails and rages, knowing that but the slightest spark of your intricate splendor has the latent potential to vanquish it. Before you it cringes unseen, withering, and flails madly, and this madness it pours forth visibly through those who are its unwitting slaves. This madness is seen upon the earth as the petty and common mockery of man, and even moreso, of children, and these monstrosities are excused by those who likewise executed them in their youth and grew not into awareness, but oblivion. This darkness would extinguish you, My beautiful one, simply for the fact that YOU ARE EVERYTHING IT CAN NEVER BE, that YOU RADIATE ALL IT CAN NEVER POSSESS, and you must never forget this fact.
Now listen further, My jewel, and I shall reveal to you its ultimate secret, the one thing above all which it desires you should never know, lest in knowing thereof you thwart its desired triumph over you. This darkness of which I speak, the darkness that seeks to devour you through the mockery of human lips, through the marauding haranguing of little monsters that surround you daily, has but one purpose, and it is this: to convince you that your place and its place are exchanged, are interposed, are swapped one for another. In plain speech, it would have you to believe that It is what you actually are, and that you are not what you actually are, but that you are It, instead. To put it even more plainly: It wishes you to come to believe that you, Light that you be, are the darkness, and that It, loathesome foulness and decrepid emptiness that it demonstrates itself to be, is the Light. For if It can succeed in this design, then indeed you shall be vanquished. And this is the common goal of all that is called "abuse" in the world of men, be that abuse physical, psychological, emotional or spiritual, and whether it comes from strangers, relatives, or peers.
But be strong, My beloved, and be unafraid. For in you is the song that shall awaken the Stars, the love that can mend the Sword and put the world to rights. Heed this word, this kiss that I send unto you, which kiss has cost Me years of pain and blood and tears, that YOU may triumph, and NOT this emptiness, this false light, this Thing which hates Love, which makes a lie when it asserts itself inevitable and true and dares claim place in the Universe, this foul chittering of the minions of Dispersion. Heed well, little Sister, little Brother, for you are the future before Us all, and so shall be your progeny long after I have made My descent into the West and am lost to the memory of mankind.
There are two ways in which It carries forth Its foul design, and these two ways are the sides to which the pendulum of the human mind are wont to sway. You must avert your course from these ways and find for yourself -- or forage ahead and create for yourself, shotextit not be found -- another way entirely, a Third way, which is beyond the two as far as the hand and mouth are beyond the puppet string, as far as the heavens are above the earth, as far as the administrator of the system is beyond the programs that run blindly upon the machines he has devised. The two ineffectual ways are these: first, to believe what They (the slaves of this Thing that Hates Love) desire and design that you come to believe if ever you should accept their treatment toward you as normal and reasonable; and second, to react against Them.
Now, Star that you be, you have doubtless before this moment utilized the second as your defense against the first. This is natural as you move through youth into maturity, and has likely presented itself as your only course for survival and preservation. But now your eyes are opened; now you have awakened; now it is time to leave that course behind. Now it is no longer time to merely survive and to fight, but to exceed, exceed, strive ever to more, that you may truly be Of Us. Doubt it not, and you shall find your way to the palace of Ever Joyous. This is so! I swear it by the vault of the heavens and the body of My mother, by the sacred sacrifice of My spiritual father, by the fulminate of mercury that took him from this world and the living flame that consumed him for My sake, by My sacred heart and tongue, by all I can give, and by all I desire! Go on then in My strength, and know that first these brambles and briars were trampled down ere you arrived upon the face of this planet. Behold the thorns embedded, the scars and bloodstains tattooing My bare feet if you believe it not!!
The Third Way, of which I speak, may sometimes be attained through the alchemical distillation of the two which present themselves naturally. Blend them with due therapeutic wisdom in willed consent and carefully chosen conscious experience. Then allow them to putrefy one another until naught remains but their decrepid corpses. Dwell in the palace of Mercy with equal measure to that of Severity. Enter the heart of your enemy until he has your full empathy in Understanding, for only thus may he be defeated, and only thus will you obtain power to slay him. Now the slaughter of which I speak is a Mystery. It is not that which is procured by arms or physical prowess, for then you would but mirror upon the physical realm what this Thing which Hates Love has dealt you upon the spiritual, emotional and psychological realms -- and then you would become It, to Its loathesome and despicable triumph. No, this slaughter is that which is pure annihilation, for it has turned the mirror 'round outward for a shield. This slaughter is pure Destruction, for it obtains its object. This annihilation is not of The Enemy, but of Enmity, not of the Antagonist, but of Antagonism. This annihilation is both inward and outward, for what is no longer within your consciousness ceases to exist externally for you. Taste, and see!
But even if you are not yet prepared, even if you be not yet ready to accomplish this task, make this simpler task your present focus and prime directive: Remember, My beloved, that you are the Light, and that the Love burns in your soul as a Living Flame, and the secret delight you have therein marks you a freely willed Agent of the Secret Fire. Never forget that you are Light and you are Love, and there is nothing sentimental, sappy, simpering, sedate, or pseudo in what you are. Never forget that what comes against you is not as it claims to be -- for it essays to claim to be what YOU are -- but is, instead, that emptiness of lies, shallow, petty folly, ignorance, which is threatened by the Light of your Cup, your Sword, and your Crux Ansata.
Against its illusions and delusions, which are many, and which overtake the sleepwalking masses unawares, hold forth your Light: your passion, your oceanic depths of feeling, your razor-honed sharpness of penetrating insight, your piercing intellect, your indomitable Will, and the Truth and Sovereignty of your mobile domain. You are a Kingdom, My beloved. Your bones are its rocky substrata; your flesh, its fertile earth; your lungs, the winds across its plains; your voice, its historic anthem of pain, despair, labour, struggle, battle, victory, hopes, dreams, and ultimate freedom; your blood, the rivers that irrigate its soil; your heart, the quickening pulse of nature radiating Life, sweet Mystery Life! into the whole of it. You are no less than True Royalty, My beloved, and your own spirit has testified to you the same since birth. Like all True Kings by Divine Right, you and the land are one.
And so you must triumph, My shining one, for only in doing so will you see the Day Dawn, and create the world for which your heart aches to call home. This also you must already know, else you never would have read this far. So knowing it, be renewed daily by the inspiration of it, that your exhalations may be the Voice of this Spirit to all your fellows. Hate not the pawns of That which Hates Love, but by your insurmountable Love, destroy their hatred and all it contains and all it creates. They rail against you only because they know You as their Rightful Liege, and being slaves, are naturally, unconsciously and instinctually terrified in your presence. This terror confuses them, so they mistake it for repulsion and pour forth contempt. But the Land is greater than a thousand fathoms of poisoned, tainted rains; stronger than the infection of a million viruses; immune to the infestation of countless parasites, and so it is with you, My brilliant enfleshment of Hope. Always Remember, and Never Forget.
"It is me, BABALON, ye fools..."